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The brewing and consumption of English beer, or "Warm piss water" as it is known in Britain, is a sure sign that the typically polite, warmhearted, and fairly intelligent limey that you see before you is, in actuality, either a raging alcoholic or a person of such rare gastric fortitude and mental deficiency that the entire Isle could sink beneath them and they'd laugh about it for days.

The mystery of why pub dwellers drink this swill has confused the gentry for centuries. Nowadays the English cannot afford refrigerators to chill their beer, as they spend their meager salaries on nicotine, sugar, Chinese trinkets, burberry hats (see chavs), and the latest fashions from India. But since the invention of refrigeration is historically recent, and certainly doesn't explain why Brits first began to down the dreary suds, a brief look into the fog of history may provide answers. (Full article...)

Did you know...

*... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?

In the news

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Welcome to Havana, Smoking Cubana's with Castro in cabanas

May 21: Appreciation Appreciation Day

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Recent Articles


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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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