Babel:Santa

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The Reverse Holocaust is a term referring to a handful of hypothetical situations a variety of freewheeling philosophers like to occasionally throw around. These situations range from the metaphorical Reverse Holocaust, to the most literal Reverse Holocaust, and every Reverse Holocaust in between. Despite decades of arguing, philosophers of all camps have yet to decide on which situation is the objective "best."

Adolf Hitler kickstarted the Reverse Holocaust philosophy machine in the 1930s by implementing the Forward Holocaust, or "Holocaust" for short. This was a critical moment in philosophy history, and without it, thoughts of a Reverse Holocaust would just be a fevered dream of some redheaded madman. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?

...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?

...that Santa is mean to his elves?

...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?

...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?

...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?

...that reindeer are never magical?
...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?

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In the news
Think of the children, Santa! Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured) UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
May 15: Feast of St. Kielbasa (Poland) 269 - Saint Kielbasa, patron saint of charred meats and finger licking, is martyred over a hot grill and served on a kebab. (Pictured) 1524 - First Running of the Bulls held in Chicago: Michael Jordan gores two unlucky fans and Dennis Rodman is put down after breaking his hind leg. 1852 - Former Queen of Wisconsin hands over his royal cheese crown over to President James K. Polk, in an unabashed show of American imperialism. 1898 - Country of Italy founded, Italians relieved after spending all week looking for it. 1976 - International Society of Procrastinators debate forming organization, decide to do it later. 1999 - Bill Clinton announces that America will create the world's first edible veggie burger, "Not because it's easy, but because it's hard!" View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.

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Recent Articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.

Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.

Isn't Santa wonderful?

Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

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