Portal:Zoology
The SOAFARFACC is a contest held annually all across Sweden except when it isn't. It attracts orienteering fans and people who enjoy firing rats from cannons worldwide. The contest lasts for a month during which there is much dancing, playing of marching tunes and of course - juggling. The winner is chosen according to their orienteering skills and the gracefulness of the rat's arc into oblivion.
The Game
The object of the game is to successfully carry a rat from Ystad, in the south of Sweden, to Jokkmokk in the north. Contestants must find their way across the treacherous Swedish terrain using only a map and compass. They are not allowed to buy food or drinks during the journey and must instead catch meatballs in their mouths that are thrown from kitchen windows by local residents.
A Grue (Gruesomicius ravenousi) is a box-shaped gap-toothed mammal known for eating humans, though more recently they have been known to kill certain lone wolves, construction workers, a gerbil or two, speranah, the occasional monkey, people who send annoying chain e-mails, your pets, and...well, Grues like eating a lot of things. Grues are not often seen roaming the wilderness in herds, whistling old-time Irish pub songs, working on crossword puzzles, and calculating the amount of back taxes owed by car salesmen. The reason Grues are not often seen doing anything is because grues live in total darkness, so the whole "seeing" thing would be kind of hard to do. The likelihood of being eaten by a grue is probably non-zero.
It is widely believed that all emeralds are grue, but in fact, all emeralds are bleen.
There are an estimated 47 grues left in the United States today due to the Grue conservation program - luckily all grues are kept under heavy rocks, or locked away in abandoned biker bars.
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FLINT, Michigan -- Little Abigail Sweeney's Christmas morning began normally, with her creeping down the stairs, eyes shut with anticipation. Then upon opening her eyes she saw, with joy and surprise, the present her doting parents and Santa Claus had gotten her. A hippo hero standing there. Exactly as she had asked for!
Ms. Sweeney then opened the rest of her presents, ate her figgy-pudding, and drank her egg nog, all the time sharing the experience with her new friend, her hippo hero. The day turned tragic when Ms. Sweeney began giving the hippopotamus a foot massage in her parent's two-car garage and was quickly sat on to death by the two-and-a-half-ton beast.
"We were a little worried that something bad might happen", said her father, Jasper Sweeney, 38. "We explained to her at one point that it would eat her, but she just laughed and said her teacher told her it was a veg-e-tar-ian."…
| Archive | Article credit: KnaveOfWonderland | (more...) |
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