User:Willy on wheels/Xbox Series X

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The Xbox Series X floating throughout space, proving that it was probably made by aliens.

The Xbox Series X is a large and oddly phallic black computer you can play games on. Much like the PS3, it is also not the nickname for my penis. In fact, I shouldn't even have to state this. That's obvious enough.

Previous Xboxes[edit | edit source]

Although there were many Xboxes before it, the Xbox Series X is the best... apparently. First, there was the Original Xbox, then the Xbox 360, then the Xbox One. While logic would tell you that the Xbox Series X is the tenth Xbox to ever come out, it's actually the fourth... Nevermind, turns out Microsoft just uses a different counting system than the rest of the world. 360 is first, one is second, and X is third. Or fourth. I don't know, I didn't get paid enough to write this. Now, for the previous Xboxes... Well, the original Xbox was okay, I don't really know, I didn't own one, but it was apparently a big loss for Microsoft so they probably should've discontinued the Xbox. Not many were sold. Then, there was the Xbox 360, which I also happened to own when I was younger. It was also pretty decent, and it introduced Xbox Live, allowing 12-year-olds to say they fucked my mother in Call of Duty. This Xbox sold more than any other Xbox, so it was probably the best one. Oh yeah, they also raised the price from $300 to $400 and charged money for me to play online. They increased the memory and CPU power too, but nobody really cares about. 2 other versions also came out and they improved the power.

The Xbox One was pretty much the exact same as the Series X, but it's older. It was pretty big and didn't sell as many copies as the Xbox 360, but I liked it. There was also the Xbox One S and Xbox One X, which is not the tenth Xbox One. These had more power and I guess they were okay. Some more models came out as well. The price was raised to $500, too.

Release[edit | edit source]

Despite merely being another Xbox and not even one that was named correctly (after almost 20 years, someone thought Microsoft would fix that), the Xbox Series X attracted a lot of hype, since it was going to be the most powerful Xbox ever. Yeah... It wasn't as hyped as the PS5, but there was definitely hype... somewhere.

The Xbox Series X was $500 on release, and, shockingly, had a disc drive. Much like the PS5, it sold out quickly, so people had to scalp the console from slightly untrustworthy people. Then they found it was an Xbox One reskin, at least I think. Microsoft just didn't think any of the other 24 letters in the alphabet were worthy of being next to the Xbox One.

Hardware[edit | edit source]

Out of every console ever made, the Xbox Series X is probably the best one. I mean... it has a good ass CPU, GPU, 16 gigabytes of RAM, 1 terabyte of storage, and whatever else consoles have. This is a lot more than the Nintendo Switch, and at least a bit more than the PS5. It's also a foot tall and 6x6 inches at the base, which makes it smaller than the PS3. Unlike the KFConsole, you can't cook chicken with it, so it isn't actually the best out there. It's decent, I guess, and it loads up games pretty quickly.

Attachments[edit | edit source]

Yeah... it's an Xbox, so you can attach a controller to it. Of course, that's obvious. While Xbox One controllers will work, Xbox 360 controllers will not. Nor will original Xbox controllers, but nobody owns those anymore. Since it's an Xbox, you can also put discs into it, because that's how you play games. Xbox One discs and some Xbox 360 and original Xbox discs work too, and those games are pretty fun, but the graphics aren't that great anymore. It supports up to 8K output, I wouldn't really know as I don't have an 8K TV. But yeah, it works with 4K too and up to 120 FPS, which is nice. Unfortunately, Kinect doesn't work with it, for those who care.

Games[edit | edit source]

Well, the Xbox Series X is able to play games... obviously, since it's a gaming console. WHY THE FUCK AM I WRITING THIS, IT'S TOO FUCKING OBVIOUS. And yeah, while I have some nostalgia for the old Xbox games, the Xbox Series X games have... good graphics. Oh yeah, you can also play the old games, but the new ones are better. They have better graphics.