User:TheBlueSpartan/Cobb island
“That's hot.”
~ Paris Hilton on Cobb Island
“My gift to you.”
~ God on Cobb Island
“Damn I sound good.”
~ God on himself
“I'm basically an oversized penis.”
~ Cobb Island on itself
Cobb Island was founded by Jesus and his disciples Lewis and Clark in the post classical era of history. They then made sweet, sweet biblical love, to create the first inbred society known to man. After this, squirrels swam over the potomac river, consuming the flesh of many of these inbred beings. The rest however, were used as playtoys; and the squirrels soon had sexual intercourse with the inbreds, resulting in the created on the RNA, also known as the "Red Neck Assholes."
Why It's Important[edit | edit source]
It's not.
Cobb Island Volunteer Fire Department[edit | edit source]
The Cobb Island Volunteer Fire Department evolved from the coughed up hair of squirrels that resided within the island. Many of them weigh 300 to 400 pounds, chew tobacco, and like to scream really loudly. Unlike many fire departments, they choose to wait 10-15 minutes after a call is made, to ensure whoever may be in trouble is found dead, making it easier to transport the body(s). They worship the God known as Ronald McDonald, who supplies the island with hordes of cheese burgers, large salty fries, and sometimes, Ronald even uses his powers to let it rain Orange Soda , as long as the Cobb Island Fire Department does his bidding.
Public Education[edit | edit source]
Being that Cobb island is far out of the way of society, it is prone to a multitude of mentally challenged citizens. The only means of any sort of education for these inbred families is to travel great lengths of land in mythical machines called Dodge Astros, so that they can attend other schools in a separate district. Attempts to build a school within the district are shot down by their separate legislation, aptly named the Cobb Island Congress. Many congress men and women believe that education is just a waste of time, or, who needs it anyway?
Cobb Island Market[edit | edit source]
The Cobb Island Market was founded shortly after The Great Flood, when Noah got bored. It was the first recorded attempt to cram all the refuse of the world into one small, unkempt building.