User:Onorphis/HowTo:Act at an expensive restaurant
“I have taken control!”
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Part 1: Dressing up[edit | edit source]
The first step is dressing up nicely for the restaurant. This is actually a lot harder than it sounds. What you want is something that screams out to world "Here I am!" Well, You can't go wrong with what I affectionally call the "terrorist" outfit (Camouflage pants and shirts, a kevlar suit over the shirt, combat boots, a black balaclava, grenades, combat knives, pistols, and ammunition belts .) What's that, you say? Can't afford this stuff? Well, you shouldn't be eating at expensive restaurants then should you? You FREAKIN' PEASANT! Ok ok, fine... *whispers*look, if you really want to go to an expensive restaurant then you could... *whispers even quiter* well... take, kind of... take the clothes, well... without permission, if you get my drift... *yells* You bloody well know what I mean you imbecile! No? YOU DON'T? *to myself* Gosh, you really are a thickey aren't you? *to the stupid reader who doesn't know that I'm telling them to steal the clothes* STEAL THEM! STEAL THE BLOODY CLOTHES!!!!!
Part 2: Choosing the restaurant[edit | edit source]
For this part you shouldn't wear the terrorist outfit. Find the richest meigbourhood in town and walk around until you have found the most expensive restaurant in town. For this part, you should wear what I call the "millionaire" outfit. (Top hat, expensive suit, polished black shoes, and a cane with a gold handle) of coure you'll have to steal this suit. Unfortunately, McDonalds does not count as a fancy restaurant. Now that you've chosen your restaraunt, you need a reservation.
Part 3: Making a reservation.[edit | edit source]
Hello? Yes, I'd like a reservation please? Yes, I'll hold. ... Hello? Yes, I would like a reservation. Seven O'clock sounds great! Thanks.
Well, that was easy. You even have a couple hours to kill before your reservation.
Part 4: Waiting for you reservation.[edit | edit source]
While there are many things to do, my to personal faorites are Solitaire and Masturbation. If you don't know how to do either of these, don't sweat it. They're easy.
How to play Solitaire[edit | edit source]
Go to your computer. Turn it on and wait for it to boot up. When it freezes, reboot. Login. When it rejects your login, try again. Keep trying until you get in. This is the most time consuming part of solitaire. Once logged in, you have a free