User:Maniac1075/TMNA
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Assholes where the worlds most stinkiest fighting team. Created by Crapcom in 1885, the 4 "heroes with an ass smell" burst out on paper and squirted there way into the world. Created by Bluey Zarsoff after a drunken escapade with a friend over who could draw the shittiest looking superhero, the TMNA franchise began ripping a hole in the fabrics of the space time diareainium.
Origin[edit | edit source]
As we just mentioned a sentence or two ago, the TMNA started as a comic book that was printed on rolls of toilet paper, giving people something shitty to read while taking a dump. It was then discovered on the crapper by CBS (Crappy Broadcasting Shit) president Mr. Who Flung Dung who decided this shit would work on CBS as a cartoon series. Mr Flung Dung then set out on a quest with a few friends to find the fellow-of-the-shit who was creating the TMNA comic. After a long walk down the yellow-piss road, Mr. Who Flung Dung found the asshole he was looking for, and asked Bluey Zarsoff to come make this shit for him as a prime-time show.
That was the the Teenage Mutant Ninjitsu Assholes came to life as shitty animations.
The show is a shit[edit | edit source]
Being that children are complete and utter fuck heads with IQ's that's digits match the same length in inches of their dicks, the TMNA became an overnight success. The story of 4 hideously mutated assholes helping fight the crap that infests New York City was as believable to children of the day as believing Micheal Jackson would never molest them.
The show's plot evolved around the 4 main assholes and their master who trained them in the ancient fighting techniques known as "The Fooking Fart" to help save New York city from these evil dickheads who did not posses the ability to work out you should try taking over cities like Tokyo or London where no one is protecting them, before trying to take over the same city every week where these 4 Assholes will stop you every time.
Backside Story[edit | edit source]
The TMNA became the TMNA when they became teenagers. But before that, 15 years ago these 4 drunk dudes where lighting their farts on fire in a back alley in NYC. They where so amused by this that they did not realize they had fallen into a radio-active waste-puddle of Morton Downy Jnrs urine. The 4 drunks asses fell into the puddle, and while the 4 of them continued to shoot blue flames out of their ass, they laughed their asses off. We mean, they literally laughed them off! The chemicals of the Downy Jnr piss, and their own fecal matter residing in their pants, caused a mutation that set their assholes free.
The 4 assholes fell down a sewer drain and puked on a drunken passed out Britney Spears. They each puked on her exposed beaver, which instantly mutated into Master Sphincter, who even tho is called a name that resembles the anus, it had to be done this way due to editing censorship changes from CBS not allowing him to be called Master Cunt.
When the Turtles Turds grew up into teenagers, thats when the show's story begins, as they fight off the evil forces of these shit for brain bad guys who have so much smarts in making unbelievable weapons and gadgets, but always get shit on by the mean lean farting machines.
Characters[edit | edit source]
Main Assholes[edit | edit source]
- Leofarto: Leo is the asshole with a blue piece of toilet paper wrapped around his head that he specially makes from dropping a roll of paper down the toilet that has one of those blue die things in it. He always farts with honer, and places his hand on his hart when his brothers fart the national anthem. Leo is the leader of the pack, and a goody two-shoes. He is based off a cub scout master, and always uses controlled fire techniques when lighting his breath up in public. He also uses these two fairly long dildos as a weapon.
- Michealanalhoe: Mikey is the asshole with orange dunny paper wrapped around his head, to make his color, he simply drinks a lot of vitamin-B and urinates on the toilet roll. Mikey's choice of weapons is two long double ended rubber dildos he bought at one of April Hoe-Neal's Tupperware parties. Mikey is a prankster, and will always ask people to pull his chin.
- Donnasmellio. Donny is the geek of the group. He is brainy and smart when it comes to science, but is a total dweeb when it comes to talking to vagina's. He is the only asshole in the group that can make a real dick of himself. His weapon of choice is one of Mikeys double-ended rubber dildos that he jerked off onto, causing it to become stiff as a pole. Donny also has an addiction to prune juice, and when he takes a shit, it flows out purple... this is how he he colors his headband.
- Raphfarthell: Raph is the scat man of the group. He is hardheaded and always angry, but you would be too if you where an asshole with constant hemorrhoids, which is why Raph wears the red headband. His weapon of choice is two anal-plugs that he will gladly ram up the ass of anyone who disagrees with him that a cat will get flatter the more times you back over it.
- Master Sphincter: Sphincter is the man that taught the assholes how to be a ninja team, because he's a radical scat. He's old and slow, and is actually a beaver, but poses as a rat because he is semi-retarded and just shits all over himself instead of wearing a headband.
- April Hoe'Neal: April is the TMNA's bitch. She is a hooker that works near the Turds lair, and she visits the Whoresome Foursome when she needs to take a piss.
The bad Dudes[edit | edit source]
- Pants Shredder: The Shred Dude is the arch
enemyenema of the turds. His back-story was he was born from the ass of the fat black guy who played he father in Fresh Prince of Bumair. Apparently the guy took a shit, and Shredder has been a pissed of mother fucker since he was flushed down the toilet with the other turds, leaving Shredder with abandonment issues.
- Krap: This guy is an alien turd. He is pink! Some say he looks like pink colored shit for brains. His back story was he was once a piece of blue shit for brains, but stopped holding his breath, and his natural color came back into his complexion.
- BeBog & PlopSloppy: When the Shred Poode and Krap put their brains together, the combined shit-squish gave them the brilliant idea to make two muted evil turds to take on the teenage mutant ninja turds. So Shredder filled up on beans and nuts and all kinds of shit, and waited patiently to take a dump in Morton Down Jnrs last known urine test. But unbeknoweth to Shredder, Morton had switched samples with Beavis & Butthead and hence, the two moronic side show comic relief baddies where born.
- Poop Soldiers: Take a wild guess at how these henchmen are created?
Other Assholes[edit | edit source]
Along the coarse of the show that ran through the sewerage of CBS for 12 years, other guest characters and villains appeared on the show. Such memorable characters would be HaSoggyBimbo, a mutant from an alien world made out of rabbit droppings. Shithead, a robotic turd Shredder crapped out when he ate his helmet by mistake. The Scat King a trumpet playing bum in the sewers who played a tune that made all the turds obey his commands. And so many more.
Sex Toy Franchise & Video Game Shit[edit | edit source]
The TMNA toys are some of the most popular toys to ever be sold to children. Even tho the original toys hardly resemble the original looking characters. It has always been a mystery why the fuck the toys look nothing like they did in the cartoon, but it hasn't stopped kids from wanting the shitty line of figurines.
It was even proven that if you take a shit in a box, slap the TMNA logo on it, and sell it as a Nintendo game, it will make you millions.
Turds get thrown at the big screen[edit | edit source]
In 1990, the TMNA's made their silver screen debut. Hollyweed knew that all they needed to do was film someone taking a shit for an hour, then wrapping them in colored toilet paper would make them millions. So the TMNA became a movie. It was received as expected; with Siskel & Ebert saying it was a piece of shit, which gave it the green light for two more sequels. TMNA II: Secret of the Oozehole, and TMNA III: Turds in Time.
The theory was proven, that if you throw enough shit at the wall, some of it is bound to stick.
Shit Kicking Re-Poop[edit | edit source]
In 2001, after the original TMNA cancellation of 1998, they noticed their cartoons all sucked. But they didn't want them to suck, they wanted them to be shit. So they issued a re-boot of the TMNA series. They started off with a live action TV series, that introduced a 5th Turd named "Assio", who was a female turd. But fans did not like this, as women are not supposed to be able to take a shit, according to old wives tales. Women where offended by this, and so the show was canceled, even after the writers tried to play it off in the 7th episode that Assio was actually Leonardo dressed in drag to play out his homosexual tendencies.
After that, in 2003 CBS decided to kick-fart the franchise again, returning to the cartoon format in a series brilliantly retitled to "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turds". The show showed a few darker shades of colors to the turds, and re-wrote all the original characters with new back stories. Unfortunately those of us writing this article are only familiar with the way the original shit went down, and couldn't give a crap how the new series plot works.
In 2006 the Turds returned to the Silver Screen in a CGI movie; TMNA 4: The Assholes Strike Back. The movie was praised for it's ability in CGI breakthrough for making such shit come to life on the big screen. Such great shitty graphics had not been seen since the 2001 CGI movie: "Sex Toy Story".
The Future of the Heroes with Ass Power?[edit | edit source]
Who knows, as long as kids will buy into this sort of shit, the Turds will remain fresh, but they may soon dry up and fuck off from existence, just like the Toxic Crusaders did.