User:Kino

[duh]

Kino is, like, German for cinema. It's a long and incredibly boring story, filled with hideous lies, so of course it has no place on this fine site. He was born longer ago than he cares to remember, despite those damn liquor vendors telling him that he surely can't be 18 already. He's not, but that's beside the point.

As if being a disgruntled British citizen wasn't bad enough, Kino has to endure ceaseless annoyance from that internet phenomenon known as "people who think they're funny, but aren't". To avoid such irksome people, Kino hides in Uncyclopedia far more often than can be classed as healthy.

Kino used to give a damn, but recently he learned better and now spends most of his time in a non-drung-induced stupor. He claims this makes him work more efficiently, but in reality it just means he doesn't need to listen to all that mindless rubbish that his peers come out with on a regular basis.

He also has a return fetish, which can result in text that unintentionally looks like poetry, or at least it would if wiki's return system didn't suck.

He's fond of the colour blue and Anglicised spelling, and will kill you with his razor-sharp understanding of...stuff...if you are seen to unnecessarily Americanise anything he's written.

Lurker

Kino lurks like no other can internet user can possibly hope to. This is mainly due to the general apathy he feels towards the human race as a whole, but also because he so very rarely has anything funny to say, as you can probably tell. Additionally, Kino is such a lazy sod that he will actually not spend five seconds typing out a post. Instead, he will look blankly at the screen and continue to do so until he bucks up the willpower to go to a different page. Thus, in order to make this page, Kino relied on slave labour. It is for this simple reason that it took him so long to make his Uncyclopedia page, though others cite his relatively recent account creation as another possible reason.

Vanity and the Real World

Kino is considered almost universally vain, and therefore lives his life in constant fear of coming under scrutiny from Uncyclopedia's Nazi Vanity Police, whom he finds highly intimidating.

Ever since his discovery of the internet, Kino has minimised his interaction with the real world. He is now the proud owner of exactly zero lives. But on the bright side, he still has many years ahead of him, so hopefully he can change. Kino finds talking about himself on the internet strangely theraputic, which could explain why he does it rather too often.

Pictures

Kino has severely limited artistic skill, so while he has the reading age of at least a seven year old, he is capable of drawing only the simplest of stick figures. Picasso would be proud. Additionally, he fails at Photoshop and can't work out how to include pictures in this article. Thus he appreciates all help in this reagrd. How sad. Or something like that.