User:ChiefjusticeDS/Things you should know
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 | This is an essay. It is not an ignorable policy on Uncyclopedia, so you should ignore it even more and disregard the mad ramblings of its writer. Or you could submit it as an Uncycloversity assignment in lieu of actually doing any work. |
“I eat aborted fetuses for breakfast.”
Users are often puzzling over what exactly it is that makes me hate them and their articles. If you can't think of an appropriate reason why I might hate you please consider some of these user suggested options.
I think I am Judge Dredd
- I hate everyone.
- I hate fun.
- I am a Fascist.
- I am a Communist.
- I am a Racist.
- I am not a Racist.
- I am African American.
- I am female.
- I am male.
- I am Jewish.
- I am Muslim.
- I am an Atheist.
- I deleted your article for a laugh.
- I deleted your article because I am a tosser.
- I believe I am the only person in the world who knows what funny is.
- I am drunk on power and you are my latest victim.
- I am part of a Zionist Cabal.
- I blocked you because I get off on seeing the block successful screen.
- I blocked you because I only want my friends to edit the wiki.
- I only deleted your article because I was so astonished by the quality I managed to misinterpret my own opinion and accidentally navigate through the delete screens.
- I think I am above the rules.
- I have no right to offer my opinion, I am too young.
- I have no right to offer my opinion, I am too old.
- I am corrupt and working to promote the ______ agenda.
- I only blocked you by accident.
- I don't care about Uncyclopedia.
- I don't care about anyone.
- I am against free speech.
- I don't understand policy.
- I need to take a break because all this clicking and typing has caused me to go off the rails.
- I think I am God.
- I have no right to delete your articles/block your account because everyone is supposed to be able to edit here.
- I have influenced you to leave the site, and cannot change your mind unless I offer a full 2,000 word apology and an immediate recommendation for sysop-hood.
- I have influenced you to leave the site, I do not want Uncyclopedia to improve. Ever.
- I have a small penis.
- I am gay.
- I am fat.
- I frequently sleep with/suck off the other administrators, this is an abomination before God.
- I was born out of wedlock.
- I don't know who you are.
- I exist only to insert my liberal bias into articles.
- I know I am wrong but live in eternal denial.
Chances are you will find an appropriate reason for my recent actions here. Please proceed to my user page and talk page and tell me all about it, just replace the existing content, it's all wrong anyway. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 23:23, December 13, 2010 (UTC)