User:Chicken4War/MAAAAin Page
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The brewing and consumption of English beer, or "Warm piss water" as it is known in Britain, is a sure sign that the typically polite, warmhearted, and fairly intelligent limey that you see before you is, in actuality, either a raging alcoholic or a person of such rare gastric fortitude and mental deficiency that the entire Isle could sink beneath them and they'd laugh about it for days.
The mystery of why pub dwellers drink this swill has confused the gentry for centuries. Nowadays the English cannot afford refrigerators to chill their beer, as they spend their meager salaries on nicotine, sugar, Chinese trinkets, burberry hats (see chavs), and the latest fashions from India. But since the invention of refrigeration is historically recent, and certainly doesn't explain why Brits first began to down the dreary suds, a brief look into the fog of history may provide answers. (Full article...)
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- ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay?
- ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
- ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
- ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
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- Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
- YouTube is dead
- D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
- Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured)
- Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
- NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
- Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
- Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
- Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
- Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
- Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
- Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
- Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
- Santa's Elves on strike
- UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
- Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision
Recent deaths: Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes.. oh wait, we just jinxed them
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May 21: Appreciation Appreciation Day
- 1453 - Hundred Years' War finally ends. France win after a penalty shoot-out.
- 1587 - The Puritans sit down with the Native Americans and appreciate the hospitality. The Native Americans do not appreciate the smallpox.
- 1874 - Husbands in New York walk to New Jersey to drink away from the prying eyes of their teetotaler wives.
- 1989 - Patrick Bateman beats his own record for number of prostitutes killed in one night.
- 1991 - President George H.W. Bush declares May 21st to be Appreciation Appreciation Day, to appreciate all the appreciation going on in the world.
- 2004 - Che Guevara comes out of hiding after faking his death, is surprisingly cool with having his face sold on T-shirts. (Pictured)
- 2011 - God takes a quick nap, people breath a little easier for a few hours without God to give people shame.
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Quenching the thirst of millions of plumbers across the nation, it's the ultimate soda. Image credit: CartoonDiablo |
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- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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The Foundation
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,693 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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