Really Stupid, Mis-informative UnNews:Dog eats carrots to piss someone off

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Note: this page is about 9292 bytes in total lol, i wasn't expecting that, probably because of the hexadecimals and binary

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In the latest UnNews, a dog has been reported to eat carrots to piss somebody off. The owner has decided to put the dog to an animal shelter after, to punish the dog for pissing somebody off with the flipping stupid noises of carrot crunching.

If you encounter this dog, type the following wikitext syntax:

[[Nobody cares]]

Just because the dog exists, no matter why it has hurt kids' ears. This stupid dog has also spread vanity, for a stupid reason. Whatever the heck this dog does, call it to the following number: 666-405-321

A guy at Place 666 will try to make it calm the heck down and make it learn lessons. Just because this dog is annoying, doesn't mean it can't help it.

Full Story

• Cloudy: I was out on a walk in the park until I heard a nuke coming. I got deleted and now I am a flipping missing texture. The Derpy Guys got killed by the nuke thanks to DWIII, an admin of Uncyclopedia. Then suddenly, a dog went up to me, and said 'Hey, Missing Texture!'. Then a loud microphone disrupted then made carrot crunching sounds. I found out it was A FLIPPING DOG. NOT THE DOG THAT TOLD ME SOMETHING.
• Cloudy: I ran out of the central hub, and then tried to find the dog. It had a carrot in his mouth. He ran away to attempt to set off the fire alarm. I stopped him right away.
• Cloudy: I noticed many people we're pissed off about such dog, and so, I had decided to drag him away to his owner. The owner was in the park.
• Cloudy: I told him this: 'Here is your dog piece of meat! He is here, stupid! Oh, sORRY'.
• Cloudy: Then, he started speaking in hexadecimals. He said: '54 68 61 6E 6B 20 66 6F 72 20 66 69 6E 64 69 6E 67 20 4D 79 20 44 6F 67 20 49 20 6B 6E 65 77 20 68 65 20 57 61 73 20 4C 6F 73 74 20 74 68 61 6E 6B 20 79 6F 75 20 76 65 72 79 20 6D 75 63 68 2D 20 70 61 72 74 79 20 73 6C 75 67 73 20 53 61 79 20 6D 79 20 66 72 69 65 6E 64 20 59 6F 75 20 63 61 6E 20 63 6F 6D 65 20 61 6E 64 20 73 65 65 20 6D 65 20 61 6E 79 74 69 6D 65 20 61 6E 64 20 57 65 20 63 61 6E 20 67 6F 20 74 6F 20 57 65 62 68 6F 75 73 65 77 7A 20 61 6E 64 20 59 65 73 20 59 65 73 20 59 65 73 20 59 6F 75 20 66 6F 75 6E 64 20 6D 79 20 64 6F 67 20 74 68 61 6E 6B 73 20 74 68 61 6E 6B 73 20 74 68 61 6E 6B 73 20 6D 79 20 77 69 73 64 6F 6D 20 64 6F 67 20 69 73 20 62 61 63 6B 20 74 68 61 6E 6B 73'.
• Cloudy: Then, he said '2C 6D 6A 66 6B 66 63 20 6D 76 66 6E 72 74 6A 75 63 64 6E 76 67 6A 64 6B 6D 78 6C 63 66 76 6E 67 6D 64 6C 63 2C 6D 20 76 6A 67 66 6B 6C 63 6D 2C 2E 72 66 6D 74 67 6A 69 75 72 64 6C 63 2C 20 6B 76 6D 67 6A 72 69 64 6C 63 2C 20 6B 76 66 6A 6F 70 64 6C 63 6D 20 6B 66 76 6A 6E 69 6F 64 70 63 6B 76 66 72 6B 6F 70 64 63 66 6B 76 6D 72 6C 64 3B 63 66 6B 76 66 6B 72 6D 64 6C 3B 2C 63 66 6B 76 6E 6A 66 72 64 6C 2C 78 63 66 6A 72 6B 6D 64 6C 63 2C 20 76 6E 66 20 64 6C 63 2C 76 6A 72 66 65 64 6C 63 2C 20 66 76 6D 6E 67 6A 72 65 64 6B 6C 2C 78 63 66 6D 6A 72 65 64 6F 78 66 63 6D 6E 72 6A 64 65 6B 6F 78 6D 63 66 6E 6B 64 6A 6B 66 6E 64 65 6B 66 67 6E 74 72 66 64 65 63 66 6D 6B 69 6D 72 6B 64 2C 66 63 6B 76 6D 67 6E 6A 66 6F 64 6C 63 2C 76 6D 6B 69 66 67 65 64 6F 63 2C 6D 6B 76 67 6E 6A 75 66 6D 72 65 64 6B 63 2C 6C 66 76 67 6D 6B 66 75 64 69 63 76 66 6B 67 66 6A 6E 72 75 64 63 20 6D 76 67 66 6A 74 72 6E 75 34 66 65 64 78 69 63 76 66 6A 38 67 72 34 66 75 64 65 6A 78 63 6B 6D 76 6A 67 66 69 74 72 6E 64 6B 78 63 20 2C 76 6D 6B 67 66 74 72 6E 65 6D 64 63 6B 20 76 66 67 72 74 34 69 6E 65 64 78 63 6D 2C 72 66 67 6B 74 6A 34 65 33 6E 66 64 6B 63 6D 76 66 6B 72 67 6A 74 34 69 6E 65 75 33 64 78 63 6D 6B 6F 76 66 30 34 72 74 69 6A 33 65 62 64 6E 78 6D 63 6B 66 6A 69 67 72 74 68 6A 65 69 64 6F 6B 78 63 69 66 6A 67 72 75 74 77 73 64 6C 78 2C 6B 63 6A 69 72 75 66 68 34 6A 69 33 65 32 77 73 3B 2C 64 78 63 6D 6B 66 6A 67 72 34 69 6E 33 65 6D 6B 77 73 64 6C 2C 3B 78 6C 63 6B 34 72 75 66 68 33 65 6A 69 64 77 73 78 6C 2C 6D 6A 66 75 72 34 6A 65 33 6B 6F 73 64 6C 78 2C 20 63 6D 66 76 6A 33 30 65 6F 63 6D 6E 66 6A 72 68 75 33 65 69 64 6B 6C 78 63 66 6D 6E 72 6A 34 33 65 69 64 6F 73 6B 78 6E 6D 76 66 67 6A 64 6B 65 6F 70 73 78 63 6E 66 76 67 74 72 6B'. I bet you don't know this. It's hexadecimals. I didn't know he could only speak hexadecimals.
• Cloudy: After 1 minute, I found out he was saying ',mjfkfc mvfnrtjucdnvgjdkmxlcfvngmdlc,m vjgfklcm,.rfmtgjiurdlc, kvmgjridlc, kvfjopdlcm kfvjniodpckvfrkopdcfkvmrld;cfkvfkrmdl;,cfkvnjfrdl,xcfjrkmdlc, vnf dlc,vjrfedlc, fvmngjredkl,xcfmjredoxfcmnrjdekoxmcfnkdjkfndekfgntrfdecfmkimrkd,fckvmgnjfodlc,vmkifgedoc,mkvgnjufmredkc,lfvgmkfudicvfkgfjnrudc mvgfjtrnu4fedxicvfj8gr4fudejxckmvjgfitrndkxc ,vmkgftrnemdck vfgrt4inedxcm,rfgktj4e3nfdkcmvfkrgjt4ineu3dxcmkovf04rtij3ebdnxmckfjigrthjeidokxcifjgrutwsdlx,kcjirufh4ji3e2ws;,dxcmkfjgr4in3emkwsdl,;xlck4rufh3ejidwsxl,mjfur4je3kosdlx, cmfvj30eocmnfjrhu3eidklxcfmnrj43eidoskxnmvfgjdkeopsxcnfvgtrk' and 'Thank for finding My Dog I knew he Was Lost thank you very much- party slugs Say my friend You can come and see me anytime and We can go to Webhousewz and Yes Yes Yes You found my dog thanks thanks thanks my wisdom dog is back thanks'. Now that is strangely bizarre.
• Cloudy: He started speaking binary code. He said '01001111 01101000 00100000 01111001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110011 01110100'. I translated it and bizarrely, it is 'Oh yes it's the best'. This guy was insanely weird, and bizarrely enough, he spoke in Toaster Language after that. He said 'Toaster toaster toaster toaster yoaster toast tust tust ant 356'. Found out it translated to 'ue oh sug ho sus ho miga suo tost an 134'. Now he was getting bizarre.
• Cloudy: He then said '73 75 63 6B 20 6D 79 20 74 72 69 61 6E 67 75 6C 61 72 20 73 61 75 73 61 67 65 20 66 6F 72 20 31 20 70 65 65 20 70 65 65 20 70 65 65 20 73 75 78 6B 65 72', bizarrely, it translates to 'suck my triangular sausage for 1 pee pee pee suxker'. What. The. Heck.

Now, the story ends here. Cya.

What to do if the dog sees you or pisses you off with carrots in park?

In case the dog sees you, or pisses you off with carrots, follow these instructions:

1. Say 'Bad dog! You better behave and stop pissing me off with those stupid carrots!' to the dog. This is '42 61 64 20 64 6F 67 21 20 59 6F 75 20 62 65 74 74 65 72 20 62 65 68 61 76 65 20 61 6E 64 20 73 74 6F 70 20 70 69 73 73 69 6E 67 20 6D 65 20 6F 66 66 20 77 69 74 68 20 74 68 6F 73 65 20 73 74 75 70 69 64 20 63 61 72 72 6F 74 73 21' in hexadecimals.
2. Find a concrete-floored place in the park suitable for chalks.
3. Throw 20 fluffy little bunnies at it. Make sure the bunnies aren't hurt.
4. Draw a bone and throw it to end of the park's car park.
5. Call a cat. If one is nearby. Do NOT call a feral cat. Call a stray cat.
6. Find a Byzantium-coloured chalk. Draw a rectangle big enough for the dog to stay in it.
7. Now tell it to get the carrots out of the mouth. This is '48 65 79 2C 20 64 6F 67 2E 20 47 65 74 20 74 68 6F 73 65 20 63 61 72 72 6F 74 73 20 6F 75 74 20 79 6F 75 72 20 6D 6F 75 74 68 2E' in hexadecimals.
8. Get the bone you drew out of the car park.
9. Tell the dog to stay still and not to eat the carrots. This is '44 6F 67 2C 20 73 74 61 79 20 73 74 69 6C 6C 2E 20 44 6F 20 6E 6F 74 20 65 61 74 20 74 68 65 20 63 61 72 72 6F 74 73 2E' in hexadecimals.
10. Now, bring the dog back to its owner. Make sure it does not run.
11. If the dog runs away, run after it.
12. Take it back again. It will most likely do the running sequence again.
13. The dog might go in the room where it record the crunching noises of the carrots to the microphones to park speakers.
14. If so, go to the concrete area suitable for chalks again.
15. Paralyze the dog like your playing Pokémon.
16. Wait 10 minutes. The dog should feel normal then.
17. Bring it back to it's owner again.
18. Tell it's owner to give it a carrot.
19. Draw a sign that says that no dogs can run off beyond the gates. This is '4E 6F 20 64 6F 67 73 20 63 61 6E 20 72 75 6E 20 6F 66 66 20 62 65 79 6F 6E 64 20 74 68 65 20 67 61 74 65 73 2E 20 49 66 20 61 20 64 6F 67 20 72 75 6E 73 20 6F 66 66 20 62 65 79 6F 6E 64 20 74 68 65 20 67 61 74 65 73 2C 20 63 68 61 73 65 20 69 74 20 69 6D 6D 65 64 69 61 74 65 6C 79 2C 20 61 6E 64 20 66 6F 6C 6C 6F 77 20 74 68 65 20 69 6E 73 74 72 75 63 74 69 6F 6E 73 20 66 6F 75 6E 64 20 6F 6E 20 69 74 73 20 55 6E 4E 65 77 73 20 61 72 74 69 63 6C 65 2E' in hexadecimals. Draw a dog running off behind a sign with a forbidden sign on top to make your sign. You should now be done with your sign. If there are multiple gates, do multiple versions of the sign.
20. Put the signs you made on all the gates.

The fricking trivia

• The dog has inflated a bunch of buildings to splode.

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