Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/July 29

The Fat Girl is a mandatory accessory for a young gay man who is newly out of the closet, according to Homosexual Occupational Marketing Organization (HOMO). Her primary job is to validate each new man who is seduced into the round the clock cha-cha-heels party lifestyle.

The role of The Fat Girl in a newly out gay man's life (known as the Pupate Homosexual, or Bar Trash stage) is to act as his first support network, line of defense and confidant. No Pupate Homosexual can gain a healthy sense of self-worth without having at least one supportive woman in his life; the larger the woman, the more successful the queer outlook on life. (Full article...)