Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/August 3

Tool are a Californian progressive experimental avante-garde art-rock alternative metal band. They have a high degree of popularity among intelligent people like me who like intelligent music. However, they don't really have much mainstream popularity, because they're too busy pushing the boundaries of music. Most dumbass sheeple can't handle all the polyrhythms and time-signatures and stuff, because it's not all 4/4 and 3-minutes long. They all just listen to the Spice Girls and stuff. Not that Tool care about popularity. They're way too busy pushing the boundaries of music. Tool's main message is that people should think for themselves and question everything they're told. Most people don't do this because they're just sheep. I always think for myself because that's what Maynard told me to do. (Full article...)