That time I nearly ran out of loaves and fishes during my sojourn in Bethsaida
Dude, that fucking crowd was huge. Like, WTF?
So there I was[edit | edit source]
stepping off my fucking boat, doing my Christ thing with the walking on the water and the feeding of the hungry, right? Like, Messiah food bank shit.
So I step into Bethsaida and there's like five thousand fucking people yelling "Oh feed us, oh Lord!"
So I pull out my backpack and I see I brought like five fucking loaves of bread and two fucking fish, and I think to myself, I did not plan this very well.
and these fucking people[edit | edit source]
are all over the fucking place, like "Oh, savior, we're so hungry!" And I say "Ummm okay hold on, blessed be the patient or some shit."
So I turn to my friend Farm Boy and I say "Dude, you gotta go run and get some more food for these skinny fucks."
And Farm Boy says "I don't think anything's open, man."
Worthless bitch.
so I pulled out my[edit | edit source]
backpack again and broke one of the loaves in half, and all of a sudden there were loaves and fishes fucking everywhere. It was like a fucking loaf and fish convention for lonely loaves to hook up with hot fishes.
So I yelled "Loaves and fishes for all!" and I sat on a rock so all the sluts could wash my feet with their hair while they chomped down on loaves and fishes.
I fucking rule.
And then everything was awesome[edit | edit source]
Until these fucking assholes nailed me to a god damn cross.