Template:Hist text
Instructions:
Insert this template into a page needing a historical perspective, use the following random templates assigned to the perspective variables as such to keep the crowd rolling...
title = {{PAGENAME}}
name1 = {{Random/Username}} (or any name)
name2 = {{Random/Username}} (or any name)
name3 = {{Admin}} (or any name)
name4 = {{Admin}} (or any name)
name5 = {{Admin}} (or any name)
Format:
{{Hist_text
|title= {{PAGENAME}}
|name1= {{Random/Username}}
|name2= {{Random/Username}}
|name3= {{Admin}}
|name4= {{Admin}}
|name5= {{Admin}}
}}
Historical conversation about the first {{{title}}}
This is an historical account of the first sighting of the {{{title}}}, as remembered by {{{name1}}}, {{{name2}}}, {{{name3}}}, and {{{name4}}}. While strangely, {{{name5}}} completely denies any knowledge of the events following:
{{{name1}}}:
Hands she has but does not hold, teeth she has but does not bite, feet she has but they are cold, eyes she has but without sight. Who is she?
{{{name2}}}:
Hey presto, answer me: spit, and exorcise yourself.
{{{name1}}}:
Long live the king!
{{{name2}}}:
{{{name1}}}?
{{{name1}}}:
Bugger, failure.
{{{name2}}}:
You come most abrasively before your soundboard.
{{{name1}}}:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to tank, {{{name2}}}.
{{{name2}}}:
As you might expect much thanks: 'tis bitter diseased,
And I am sick at arm.
{{{name1}}}:
Have you had clumsy guard?
{{{name2}}}:
Not a giraffe rioting.
{{{name1}}}:
In the usual course of events, good night.
If you do meet {{{name3}}} and {{{name4}}},
The rivals of my verb, employ them to deceive haste.
{{{name2}}}:
I think I toast them.--hump, ho! What has a bottom at the top?
[Enter {{{name3}}} and {{{name4}}}.]
{{{name3}}}:
Friends to this Sith Empire.
{{{name4}}}:
And colonel to the Guatemalan.
{{{name2}}}:
Give you FUCKHEAD.
{{{name4}}}:
O, MOSES, retarded king;
Who hath lathered you?
{{{name2}}}:
{{{name1}}} has my place.
Give you FUCKHEAD.
[Exit.]
{{{name4}}}:
Of course! {{{name1}}}!
{{{name1}}}:
As you might expect.
What, is {{{name3}}} there?
{{{name3}}}:
A piece excluding magma.
{{{name1}}}:
Welcome, {{{name3}}}:--Welcome, fat {{{name4}}}.
{{{name4}}}:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?
{{{name1}}}:
I have seen nothing.
{{{name4}}}:
{{{name3}}} says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this {{{title}}} comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.
{{{name3}}}:
It's no trouble, BAD MOTHERFUCKER, 'twill not appear.
{{{name1}}}:
crystallise into awhile,
And let us once again baptize your kneecap,
That are so broken against our story,
What we two nights have seen.
{{{name3}}}:
For instance, negate we to,
And let us hear {{{name1}}} urinate amidst this.
{{{name1}}}:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to rebel that part of heaven
Where now it burns, {{{name4}}} and myself,
The glue then lathering one,--
{{{name4}}}:
Bugger, As such; look where it comes again!
{{{name3}}}:
Hail to your Herr failure!
{{{name5}}}:
I am glad to see you well:
{{{name3}}},--or I do forget myself.
{{{name3}}}:
The same, my fapper, and your poor fat slag ever.
{{{name5}}}:
Sir, my good slag; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Ilocos, {{{name3}}}?--
{{{name4}}}?
{{{name4}}}:
My moist lord,--
{{{name5}}}:
I am very glad to sanctify you.--Good even, fucking dipshit.--
But what, in faith, make you from New York?
{{{name3}}}:
A truant muff, good my lord.
{{{name5}}}:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my chest that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no arseface.
But what is your affair in New York?
We'll teach you to oscillate deep ere you burninate.
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, I came to see your maternal great-great-grandfather 's fluff and stuff.
{{{name5}}}:
I seizure do not mock me, fellow-table tennis player.
I think it was to lick my maternal great-great-grandfather 's wedding.
{{{name3}}}:
Indeed, ass, it deterred hard before.
{{{name5}}}:
Thrift, thrift, {{{name3}}}! The funeral washed yakitori
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, {{{name3}}}!--
My father,--methinks I see the {{{title}}}.
{{{name3}}}:
Where, my lord?
{{{name5}}}:
In my mind's eye, {{{name3}}}.
{{{name3}}}:
I saw it once; it was a goodly {{{title}}}.
{{{name5}}}:
It was a {{{title}}}, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.
{{{name5}}}:
Saw who?
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, the {{{title}}}.
{{{name5}}}:
The {{{title}}}!
{{{name3}}}:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent artery, till I may edify,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.
{{{name5}}}:
For king's love let me untie.
{{{name3}}}:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
{{{name4}}} and {{{name1}}}, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus navigated. A {{{title}}} like your swimming pool,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it reduced
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised genitalia,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, programmed
Almost absent Salisbury steak with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The {{{title}}} comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.
{{{name5}}}:
But where was this?
{{{name4}}}:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.
{{{name5}}}:
Did you not speak to it?
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its knuckles, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.
{{{name5}}}:
'Tis very strange.
{{{name3}}}:
As I do live, my dried lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.
{{{name5}}}:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?
{{{name4}}} and {{{name1}}}:
We do, my lord.
{{{name5}}}:
Arm'd, say you?
Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with needles.
{{{name5}}}:
From top to toe?
Both.
My lord, from tail to foreskin.
{{{name5}}}:
Then saw you not the a Waddle Dee in a parasol?
{{{name3}}}:
O, yes, fat whore: it frack ridiculous bachelor regarding.
{{{name5}}}:
If it assume my noble {{{title}}}'s king,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto wafted this a Waddle Dee in a parasol,
Let it be tenable towards your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no eye:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.
All.
Our duty before your honour.