Sugar

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A sugar is a type of carbohydrate, which is very bad for you, and provides most of the energy which tumors need. Sugar is poop based, and like another fecal matter based material, poop, is found in your butt.

Sugar is manufactured from sterilized poop which is mixed with formaldehyde for flavour (this is why it is bad for you as formaldehyde is known to cause cancer in humans, autism in cats, and klinefelter syndrome in Tricoplax)

Sugar in nature[edit | edit source]

Sugar is mostly found in Penisland, where when your shit goes down the toilet, it ends up in Penisland. Over here, child slaves will take the sugar out of the crap.

Sugarcane[edit | edit source]

One of the most efficient sources of naturally refined sugar is the sugar cane. This plant is essentially made up of two parts: the roots, which can draw up and purify sugar from underground deposits, and the stalk, which acts as a storage for the sugar. The most remarkable thing about the sugar cane, is that it can extract sugar from the ground at 110% efficiency, making sugar a renewable resource. No one knows how the plant performs this strange feat, and it has puzzled mankind for hundreds of years. THIS IS A REAL CALL TO THE GERMAN COASTGUARD


We're sinking, we're sinking

Hello, zis is ze german coastguard

What are you sinking about?


Cocoa Beans[edit | edit source]

A plant that is similar to the sugar cane is the cocoa bean. Unlike the sugar cane, the cocoa bean turns sugar directly into chocolate, and so is essentially a candy tree. It is thought that cocoa trees have been harvested for over 700 years for their chocolate, and there is a great amount of evidence that the Mayans were one of the first to regularly perform this practice.

Fruit[edit | edit source]

There is another type of plant that stores sugar for later consumption: fruit plants. Fruit plants are able to create different vessels, called fruits, that serve both as a storage for sugar and a device to hold their seeds. These plants are not quite as efficient at withdrawing sugar from the ground as sugarcane, but are very sweet nonetheless. It is speculated that plants evolved these brightly coloured containers in order to attract animals, so as to spread their seeds. Some examples of fruits are

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sugar[edit | edit source]

Sugar is an extremely addictive substance that is often made when poop is not melted at the proper temperature, or is improperly stored or handled. Unfortunately, many large candy companies use this substance to ensure that their customers will keep coming back to get more sugar. Because of this, more and more people are starting to believe that all sugar is bad for you, and some of the more aggressive protesters have created "artificial sugars" Although these are not nearly as bad as sugar, they are not nearly as good tasting as real, poop made sugar.

See also[edit | edit source]