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The Film Portal

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Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (Full article...)


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Highlighted Article

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The typical breakfast of Mr. White.

A Day In the Life of Armond White is a 3rd person novel written by a Rolling Stones editor as part of a story. The book details encounters with people by skilled film critic Armond White and his reactions to these situations. Hailed by critics, one critic wrote "a different tone...we rarely see someone so laughable." The entire text is preserved below:

Foreward

In a strange, roundabout way, we can all relate to Armond White. The stuffy Englishman from the 1940s, the high class man at the Opera...all of the things that seem like they don't belong can be traced back to Mr. White. In this book, provided by Mr. White's personal journals, we detail what it would be like to be Armond White for a day. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I laughed while writing it.…

Archive Article credit: Saberwolf116 (more…)


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Attack of the Giant Sockpuppets

A popular spinoff from the movie Beetlejuice, this was the top-grossing film of 2007. Emphasis on the word gross.

Nominate stuff Image credit: BobNewbie Image archive


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Did You Know...

 The Straw man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"
 the Bogeyman is terrible at golf.
 Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection. Ours.
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Highlighted Biography

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Coppola's performances were criticized for being too "corpselike".

Sofia Carmina Coppola (born May 14, 1971) is an American screenwriter, director, producer, and occasional actress who makes films about nothing.

Early life

Coppola was born in New York City, New York, the youngest child and only daughter of Eleanor Neil and Francis Ford Coppola, granddaughter of the composer Carmine Coppola, sister of Roman Coppola and Gian-Carlo Coppola, niece of August Coppola and Talia Shire, cousin of Nicolas Cage, Jason Schwartzman and Robert Carmine...…

Archive Article credit: Black flamingo11 (more...)
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News

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What's On?

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Film Terminology

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Animation  Beta movement  Bond girl  Camera  Carry On Films  Cult film  Digital cinema  Documentary  Experimental film  Fan film  Film criticism  Film festival  Film genre  Film journals and magazines  Film industry  Film theory  History of film  Lost film  Movie Trailer Announcer Guy  Narrative film  Open content film  Persistence of vision  Photographic film  Propaganda  Recording medium  Silent film  Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film  Sound stage  Web film  World cinema
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