EssilorLuxottica

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Main article: Luxottica
Our beautiful simplistic corporate-looking name and logo

EssilorLuxottica is a corporate holding company puppet set up by Luxottica to make it look French, weaker, and like a cheese-eating surrender monkey, by merging with the enslavers at Essilor. It's an unaffordable company to buy from when it comes to eyewear, and helps people see "more", be more, and especially PAY MORE for their sight.

At EssilorLuxottica, we believe that everyone deserves to see more for a completely affordable price.[1] That's why we have numerous offerings, including Costa Del Mar, Ray-Ban, Versace and Oakley which often cost very minuscule amounts.[2] Furthermore, we use the most premium materials[3] to offer luxury brands the finest[4] quality for well-known[5] household names like Chanel and Michael Kors.

A gallery of our beautiful and cheap[6] products[edit | edit source]

  • Ray-Ban Aviators, starting at $999

    Ray-Ban Aviators, starting at $999

  • Ray-Ban club masters, starting at $1099

    Ray-Ban club masters, starting at $1099

Financials[edit | edit source]

Monthly profits[edit | edit source]

420 – OVERFLOW ERROR. Value too high to be displayed here.

Stock price[edit | edit source]

420 – OVERFLOW ERROR. Value too high to be displayed here.

Benefits to shareholders[edit | edit source]

420 – OVERFLOW ERROR. Value too high to be displayed here.

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ By affordable, we mean a minimum of $999999 and a maximum of infinity.
  2. ↑ Starting at only $200 for a pair of cheap glasses
  3. ↑ such as Chinese cheap plastic
  4. ↑ by finest we mean most broken and bullshitty
  5. ↑ and extremely pricey ;)
  6. ↑ again, extremely expensive
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