EgaP niaM

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From today's featured article 

Expresiones de amor y odio al estado actual de las cosas (51147169656).jpg

BOGOTÁ, Colombia, Fake America -- Millions of rioting Colombians are being thrown into giant paddy-wagons by Bogotá police in a tense standoff. The people are violently rioting for the right to take part in the annual Eurovision Song Contest, a European song contest in which Israel and Australia have been permitted to participate.

Colombia has a rich music culture where their very simplistic yet camp and cliché musical style would fit in perfectly with Eurovision. However, for many years now, Israel has vetoed Colombians from joining the contest, claiming that "Colombians just can't be gay" (a prerequisite for any group to perform at Eurovision). In a recent interview for CNN, Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu raised serious questions about the ability of Colombian people to be flamboyant homosexuals. As we all remember, the best TV show in the history of mankind, Yo soy Betty, la fea, is actually a Colombian show; but that show is so rampantly homophobic that, along with Colombia's brutal machista culture, Israel has concerns about how much Colombians are able to express their gayness at the Eurovision. Netanyahu was quoted as saying: "Colombians are so manly, you can smell their ball sweat from a mile away. No one would take them seriously dancing around on stage in plastic pants singing about forbidden love". (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)
  • ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
  • ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
  • ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
  • ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?

In the news 

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On this day 

Too many fat fingers...

May 12: Barry Manilow Day

  • 100 AD - Barry Manilow, immortal muse of all music, writes the very first song. Critics hate it, but what do they know.
  • 1877 - Oscar Wilde pens his poem Sonnet to Liberty, advocating socialism and decrying many contemporary fashion trends.
  • 1881 - In North Africa, Tunisia becomes a French protectorate, and thus enjoys its last noteworthy moment for nearly 100 years, until the filming of Star Wars there in 1977.
  • 1974 - Depressed mood ring commits suicide, says "I can't handle the pressure" in heartfelt note. (Pictured)
  • 1985 - The Book of the Dead is discovered by a 12 year old child in London and sold for three baseball cards and a Jefferson Starship cassette tape.
  • 2003 - Pocahontas sells her memoir "Hokey Pokey: Frolicking, Singing, and Doing a White Guy" to Disney, which is subsequently made into a popular children's movie.
  • 2004 - The corpse of Walter Cronkite rises from the grave to report on the Alabama tri-county kitten pageant.

Picture of the day

Canadian Special Forces
 In order to quell the ongoing strife in the Mideast, the Canadian government has elected to send their elite peacekeeping forces into Afghanistan, Iraq and Mos Eisley.

Image credit: NewMess1ah
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