Chandigarh

'Talk To The Hand' - Municipal Corporation Chadigarh

Chadigarh, commonly misspelled as Chandigarh, is also known as The City Beautiful. It is a city in North India which is believed to have originated as a result of the the Himalayas dry-humping the wet mountains of Western Europe. Chadigarh is one of the most livable cities of the world¹, primarily because of its proximity to the biggest dumping ground of Asia. The city's existence is stinkingly controversial and is hence classified as a UT (UrOnion Terroritory).

The main language of the city is still unknown. People are often found barking "ooooh", "aaah" and "yum yum" while asleep. The primary language of the Dogs (the four-legged ones), is Hinglish (Hind-legged English).

The city derives its name from Chaddi which means "underwear", and garh, which means "fort". According to the people who never existed, Chadigarh was an international trade-center for underwears in 100.26 B.C. The trading took place in the main fort, where the only people allowed were either Indians or white negros. The traders were strictly required to come wearing loose sunflower underwears, so that their underwear sizes could be determined just by looking at their swinging dicks.

Chadigarh is known for its high standard of living and tops the list of Indian States and Union Terroritory with an HDI (Human Development Index) of 0.987.

History

In this article, we will provide you with the Chandigarh history that will give you useful piece of information on the origin of Chandigarh, India. Prior to the partition of India, Lahore was the capital city of undivided Punjab. But, after the partition, when Lahore went to Pakistan, India was left without any capital. Also, it led to the migration of people of west Punjab to the eastern towns within India. These two factors gave rise to the need to choose a site in the foothills of Shivalik range that would serve as the capital of Punjab. Read on to know more about the origin and history of Chandigarh…

A committee was set up to choose a suitable site, keeping in mind various factors like military vulnerability, drinking water, climatic conditions etc. Finally, a site was selected, but that was in the shape of farms. The city got its name from Chandi, the Goddess of power and Garh meaning fortress. After the site was finalized, a master plan for the city was prepared by an American team (Mayor, Whittleslay, Glass & Nowicki). The project faced a setback with the sudden demise of Nowicki. It was then that the other teammates refused to work on the project.

The committee was again handed over the task of finding a team for completion of the project. In the year 1951, the well-known French architect, named Le Corbusier, took the charge of giving the city a modern look. He further appointed a team, who worked under his supervision and guidance. The team decided to work in two phases. While designing the city, factors like pollution, traffic, travel and tourism and other environmental aspects were borne in mind. This is how Chandigarh turned into a well-planned capital city of Punjab, India.

Climate

Chadigarh has a continental climate characterized by scorching hot snowfalls, cold summers, hot winters, and slight variation in temperature (0 °C to 50 °C). In winters, cars sometimes melt during the months of December and January. It hardly ever rains in Chadigarh, except for the 365 days. The average annual rainfall is recorded at 617 m. It also receives occasional winter rains due to evaporation of the slimy saliva of the rickshaw pullers. ..

Social life and patterns

Sector 17 is the city's heart and tail centre. It is also renowned for its many shops which carry a huge diversity of underwears, including most Indian and foreign brands.

The Infamous Three-Storeyed Skyscrapers in Sector 17.

Chadigarh also has outlets of worldwide chain restaurants like Kentuckistan Fried Hut, Pizza Chicken, McRuby's, Donald's Tuesday and Pubway. Chadigarh has one multiplex, Fuck Republic, located in Money Mujra area, 110 km from sector 17.

One of the unusual and unpopular features of Chadigarh is the Frock Garden of Chadigarh, built over 30 years by Nek Cunt, a former fraud supervisor.

Chadigarh is home to traffic police of india which get funds from huge amount of money they get from challans.A person can be challaned for not wearing shoes while driving or not cleaning his number plate.They are provided with interceptor jeeps in which police man sleeps under the shade of tree near a round about.

Education - Schools

CBSE Schools

• Bartan Vidyalaya (Sector-27)
• Camel Convent School (Sector-9)
• Chitkara International School (Sector - 25)
• Dangar Pubic School (Sector-40)
• GuruCool (Panchkula)
• Ryandi International School (Sector-49)
• Sacred Fart Senior Secondary School (Sector-26)
• St. Aunt's Cunt School (Sector-32)
• St. Pitter's School (Sector -38)
• Vivek Low School (Sector-38)
• Manav Jungle School (Sector-11, Panchkula)
• St. John's School (Sector 26)
• Kuntriya Vidyalaya(Sector 29)

ICSE Schools

• St. Stoophoon's School (Sector-45)
• St. Fakir High School (Sector-26)
• StrawFilled Bun School (Sector-26)
• Little Flower Smelly Cunt School (Panchkula)
• YadavinDaravna Pubic School (Mohali)

Colleges

• Punjab University
• PECUT/PEC/(Hen)PECK(the "almost" IIT college)
• Govt. Girls"ogle" College