Portal:Music

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The Music Portal

Music is a 'form of art' first discovered by Charles Darwin in the 1800s. It is a sort of root, that often has a beat to it, although some people have thought that music is actually a form of lanksop hypnosis made by singers who just want to sell their CDs. Often when music is played, people start dancing, as music often results in your body going into spasm that takes over your body with its infectious rhythm. This is due to the fact that music is a potent neurotoxin, and can cause long term damage to the central nervous system. Scientists are trying to prove that music is a disease and so those who are infected with the virus (such as rock stars) die before their time, (like Elvis and Jesus). It seems to severely affect drummers. It is also a fact that having absolutely no musical skills!!! result in immunization to the disease, such as birds, blink-182 and, Oasis. Music was designed only to annoy those who hear it and cause them to go insane and outsane. Music can come in many forms. Revolving, singing, blowing, strumming, and pressing are only some on the possible insanities that be music. (Full article...)

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If you make a band, you can be as cool as these guys!

Bored during your holidays? Can't get the girls? Got a lot of money? Are you standing around in an empty garage with a bunch of other people all of whom are looking at you as if wondering what you're going to do next? Well then...

Why don't you start a Band?

Yeah, you won't be very good, but it stops you from being bored, it will waste your money (better than spending it on drugs), and you'll have a 1% increase of getting a girl (but only if you play a tuned instrument.)

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Music in the News

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At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."

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Featured Image

A belated favour for Morrissey.

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Image credit: Todd Lyons

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Featured Artist

And so it was that the Misunderstood never came to pass. But don't take our word for it, just ask anybody!

This particular misunderstanding began when fate decided to try her hand at unpopular music. She created five unwitting suckers along with DJ John Peel. Then she brought them all together and the boys conspired as rebels with a cause of being Yardbirds-wannabes, while John became their mentor.

Although just a rag tag band from California's Hayseed-meets-Hollywood Inland Empire, by 1966 Peel had teleported them to another reality, far far away, in "fab" London, where they became Psychedelic Music icons, like, NOT! In London town the band were enticed with promises of bread and water into signing a pact with the first company to giva-a-shit: Fontana Records.

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Lyric of the Week

“I'm a wizard who uses his wand in a very special way.”

— Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical

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Featured UnTunes

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Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap

Featuring the smooth vocal stylings of "DJ" Daryl Dipstick & Doofus.

Daryl: Word!
Doofus (in wimpy nasal): Sure, I got Word. Excel, Powerpoint, the whole office suite. <snort>
Daryl: Would you shut up, homie? I’m trying to throw down some tough rhymes here.
Doofus: Sorry. So, what does Word, mean?
Daryl: I don’t know - it’s just something they say. Now shut up or you’re fired! Uhm, I’ve got to get my groove on, or get in touch with my inner child, or something. Hmmm… wait… I got one! (more...)