Babel:OW
|
Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 41,046 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres... | Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
|
Oscar's Chosen Article Aragorn Arrowroot Elessar the Strider is a hero to all of Middle Earth, the royal king of Gondor by bloodline and the husband of Arwen the Lady of Rivendell, daughter of Elrond the Elf, Lord of Long Robe. Born in the Second Stone Age of Arnor which on everyone else's calendar was the period of time in the Third Age between 2931 to 3000. After that everyone was either looking for ways around the long thousand‑year ages and trying to cull them down to something that would fit on the kitchen wall or a journal even when journals during these times were the size of stone slabs or bricks. Aragorn was trained to be a ninja and a cook. He was the ultimate firewood gatherer and he hated the Ringwraiths. He was also very skilled in the Elven languages of two different tribes consisting of the warrior elves and that of the regular, normal forest elves that just wanted to bake lembas bread and cookies, and do hobbit activities such as drinking and smoking a lot, making babies and getting drunk again, and eating more food, and making more babies and gathering more kittens, puppies, and ponies. Without the hassle of having to be dragged off to some nasty war, getting all dirty. Aragorn could communicate with both factions of elves but the latter was a bit more nervous whenever he'd bring up subjects like patrolling the woods for wraiths. Having a looksee at what's left of Moria. And going to Mordor to defeat a Dark Lord who lives near an angry and active volcano. Legolas and Gimli were really the only ones down with that sort of thing. (Full article...) You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? December 6: International Day of the Jackal, Take Your Pants Off for Cancer Day (Utah, observed), Indifference Day (Finland), National Public Pooping Day (Denmark)
|
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
 Those poor bastards.
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
| |||||||
Recent witticisms
| ||||||||
This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
| ||||||||
|
Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you.
All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.
For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.
Protected by Oscar's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.