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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line
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Today's Party Column


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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.

Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.

Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)

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Our glorious history

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Today's hangul word is
frivolous
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four

Recent deaths: Robert MuellerTransgender self-identity in India • Mr. StricklandC.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus

Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • SoraTiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

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  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
  • ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
  • ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?

You cannot deny...[edit source]

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  • ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?

More wisdom

Party members of the month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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