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From today's featured article 

BuffaloBillsHelmet.jpg

The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team.

The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...)

Did you know... 

Mimes-silent-radio.jpg
  • ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
  • ... that torture is better to give than to receive?
  • ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
  • ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?
  • ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?

In the news 

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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight

Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season

Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too

On this day 

Bass? Aoobs?

March 30: International Cleavage Day

  • 13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers.
  • 1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps.
  • 1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land.
  • 1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her.
  • 1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene.
  • 1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition.
  • 2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules.

Picture of the day

Line
 Popular childrens' game involving cocaine. The "I'm a Romanian immigrant snorting myself to death" version will be available in stores in the near future.

Image credit: Freebasser
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