User talk:Multiliteralist/Archive1
SPÅM HERE[edit source]
—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) 19:20, 11 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost April 16th, 2009[edit source]
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!
April 16th, 2009 • Issue 43 • It's News Because We Tell You It Is
Latest Poo Lit Leads to Quality Flood on VFH
The first article nominated to VFH from the competition also came with a bold prediction by one numbskull, who questioned his existence if Karl Lagerfeld did not receive 20 For. votes. At 03:57, 11 April 2009 the 20th For vote was cast by Thekillerfroggy and it's safe to say that the author of this instant Uncyclopedia classic should be considered the overall champion with his three entries garnering him two first place articles and one second place finish. Unscrupulous Unsignpost reporters One of our winners was not only a perfect 1/1 by winning the best rewrite category with Money but Sycamore also received the vaunted Writer of the Month trophy for March 2009! A user that happens to wander in and write us an offering on occasion claimed a share of first place in the alternative namespace category with the UnNews article Obama unveils education reform plans. Monika should drop in more often! Worst 100 of the Year Stumbles to 10 Things
There are several schools of thought as to why this situation has been allowed to arise. One gaining currency among quite literally possibly some Uncyclopedians is that everyone on the site is so busy producing quality material that they just don't have time to devote to such frivolities. However, the continued existence and rate of progress of Forum:Count to a million neatly quashes that theory. Another hypothesis advanced by as many as no or fewer people is that precisely nothing of any interest to anyone has happened, either on this wiki or on the interwebs in general this year. However, while this is significantly more likely than the first theory, the generally accepted explanation seems to be that, quite simply and predictably, Uncyclopedia is the worst. |
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Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) 18:54, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 23rd April 09[edit source]
Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.
April 23rd, 2009 • Issue 44 • Spamming Your Talkpage Since 2008
Conservation Week Largely Ignored By UnCommunity Uncyclopedia is currently halfway through its bi-annual (semi-annual?) rewriting extravaganza, lovingly referred to as Conservation Week. Every six months, members of this silly wiki partake in the practice of pruning, hacking, nurturing, feeding, and otherwise bothering the 'trees' of the site, which is the running metaphor for 'article'. From the greatest feature machine to the lowliest n00b, everyone can participate in Conservation Week by simply finding a sub-par article and making it better via trimming or adding content, or just plain magic. However, our special investigator DogNewspaper (pictured) has discovered that this so-called Rewrite-a-Thon is not the all-encompassing entity it is meant to be. In fact, normal operations such as VFD, VFH, and the Cajek Ban Joke Factory have not ground to a halt as they clearly should during this special fortnight. Users were puzzled by this revelation; RabbiTechno admitted that he has "little idea what 99.9% of the whole site is all about," and he elaborated that without his constant vigilance, UnNews would surely deteriorate into a third-rate media parody, which this reporter can verify is true. Known conservation standouts have also shockingly participated in non-rewrite-related activities during the designated tree-hugging week. Dexter111344, reigning Greasy Mechanic, blamed the inclement weather, nosy librarians, and the almighty Zeus. Or maybe he just rewrote Zeus, but the librarian part was true for sure. UnSignpost Reporter Subtly Mentions Vigilance Week In Article; Chaos Ensues In the April 23rd, 2009 edition of the UnSignpost, masked co-chief-editor Gerrycheevers covertly linked the word 'vigilance' to Uncyclopedia's Vigilance Week page, inciting riots and mass panic among Uncyclopedians site-wide. Vigilance Week, the mere mention of which often inspires multiple forums where users argue and complain in bold or even italic font, is a period where the rules of article deletion are relaxed, and the worst articles on Uncyclopedia are loaded into the basement of the British Houses of Parliament and blown up using comical amounts of gunpowder. The last Vigilance Week reportedly occured in September/October 2007, resulting in the death of borderline humorous articles by the dozens. The horrific memories of that week have greatly affected some Uncyclopedians, who remain extremely charged about the issue to this day. For example, Modusoperandi recalled his experience when asked to comment on Vigilance Week, saying, "Certainly. What's "Vigilance Week"?" Other users were similarly shocked, as V-Week, as it has come to be known, was described as "unmemorable" by one user, and "get off my lawn" by another. However, the passion that Vigilance Week stirs up is negligent when compared to the shitstorm that results upon the mention of that black sheep of Uncyclopedia holidays: Forest Fire Week. This period in the Fall of 2006, when Uncyc was still really an infant in wiki-years, saw over 3000 articles deleted, more than 15% the total website content at the time. In fact, this very article will probably merit at least one forum regarding FFW despite this periodical's poor circulation and low-quality electrons. At press time, the subtle link to Vigilance Week had caused a medium-sized riot, with hordes of angry users tipping over cars in the Uncyclopedia Parking Structure and setting the animals in the Uncyclopedia Zoo loose. The Cabal is poised to get involved by seizing all media outlets and gener- ATTENTION COMMONERS. ALL IS WELL. THERE WILL BE NO OCCURENCES OF ANY DELETION WEEKS OF ANY KIND. FURTHERMORE, COMEDIC ALLOWANCES WILL HEREBY BE INCREASED FROM 80 GRAMS TO 65 GRAMS. THIS MESSAGE IS NOT THE DOING OF THE CABAL, AS THERE IS NO CABAL. GOODNIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. |
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Life RPG 3![edit source]
Life RPG 3 coming June 2, 2009 to Uncyclopedia Game! Be prepared!
Thanks bro[edit source]
In Recognition Of Multiliteralist's discerning taste in fine varieties of tea as well as in other matters, Syndrome formally acknowledges that this user is of a good heritage, and would make an excellent potential mate. |
Oh, and tell me if you get any other collab ideas. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 23:00, 25 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!![edit source]
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
April 30th, 2009 • Issue 45 • The periodical that - Jesus Christ it's a lion get in the car!
UnSignpost Editors Too Busy Working on Anniversary UnSignpost to Bother with This Week's Issue Since next week marks the incredible one-year anniversary of the storied UnSignpost, the editors are focusing all of their efforts on that issue and thus leaving this issue out in the cold. Rest assured that next week's 46th issue, marking the 46 weeks in the year on the Uncyclopedia calendar, will be "a bumper special issue" according to co-chief-editor Under user. The promise of a special bonus issue brings to mind several of the UnSignpost's more notable issues, such as the All-Kitten Issue and the Seventeenth Issue Spectacular. Reactions to the milestone were mixed in the community. "I feel the signpost has in many ways brought a little too much cabal propaganda to the site for my liking," said noted good-looking tree Sycamore. Were there a cabal, cabal authorities would currently be on the way to Sycamore's house to arrest him. Lucky for him there is no cabal. By the way, if you really thought this was the first anniversary issue, you suck. |
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Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:59, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
Yet another useless award[edit source]
Rabbi Techno awards you this lovely Mechanical Thing because you voted for something I wrote to be featured. Cheers! |
Free Stuff[edit source]
While I was over at the Googleplex researching History of Google I managed to grab a load of these promotional t-shirts. Here's one for you because you voted for the article on VFH! Model not included. Thankyou from Rabbi Techno |
The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special[edit source]
The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!
May 5th, 2009 • First Anniversary Issue! • Disdaining news in favour of blatant self-promotion
Self-Proclaimed Greatest Newspaper on the Wiki Reaches First Birthday
The early issues were churned out at a great rate by the founding editors, and Cajek was so enthused by the project that he suggested to Skullthumper that they should move to a twice-weekly release - fortunately, this suggestion was shot down in flames by the doc, or the paper may never have celebrated a second month, let alone a full year! Skullthumper was first to leave the Signpost behind for pastures new, perhaps feeling his work was already done. Looking back nostalgically now at those heady early days, Skull exclusively observed: "Well! Working on the UnSignpost in the beginning was a really fun experience, not gonna lie. Cajek and I were both super excited about it. I'm glad it existed through to today, entirely by the help of other people. The setup was seriously the most fun part. We had NO clue what we were doing, we were experimenting with formatting, content, and a bot that only worked half the time. To summarize: It kicked ass. I had no idea it was about a year ago that it started." With only Cajek powering it, the Signpost forged onwards, but was beginning to run into troubled waters - even Cajek's legendary enthusiasm was beginning to founder, and when he began to struggle for time, he asked DJ Irreverent to take the helm. We asked Cajek for a nostalgic comment about the Signpost, but he was unavailable, so instead here's a random line from one of his articles: "Also, don't be surprised if you go to jail for what society deems "gross", "horrible", and "Satanic": it's all part of being an ant keeper... and an ant "watcher"". The DJ managed to steady the ship (how long can we sustain this metaphor?), but struggled to handle the torch he'd been passed by his adopter (looks like we didn't sustain it very long - never mind!). Asked to comment on this turbulent period, the DJ exclusively remarked: "I dropped said torch like a ton of bricks as a good child should always do. I could not take on the family business, I needed to dance. Anyway, I wrote about 2 articles". So the pattern of users taking over the paper, only to burn out and abandon it again was becoming well established. Next in the editor's chair was UU, who lasted about 6 issues, before becoming so overwhelmed by the pressures of the paper that he went and got married in order to have a good excuse to get away from it for a few weeks. Recalling those halcyon days, UU told us exclusively: "I love the Signpost, and have had a great time working on it. It does get in the way of writing real articles though, as some users might testify, and it can be a pain to come up with stories each week - hopefully this issue might spark a few people to put some more ideas in the press room". Fortunately, UU had taken the foresighted step of questioning the staying power of one Gerrycheevers in a previous issue's "comeback of the week" box, and Gerry was so determined to prove he had what it took, that he took over the paper while UU swanned off around the world. Cheevers's time at the helm brought such classic issues as the all-kitten issue, and his exclusive dewy-eyed remembrances run thusly: "I'm proud for having successfully stolen this periodical from Cajek and Skull, and I look forward to many more years of turning forums into news stories, dredging up old features that nobody cares about, and of course making tedious Cajek ban jokes. I also demand a raise and Cajek's office!" Unfortunately, Cheevers's staying power lived up to UU's expectations, and Gerry took another small break. UU returned to the paper, and frantically enlisted contributions from the likes of Orian57 and Heerenveen to keep the wheels of news turning smoothly. Asked for comment on his input, Orian exclusively told us: "It's a been a great help in bonding together this community. And it's made things more interesting, what with everyone trying to do news worthy things just to get their names in the paper. Or something, I can't manufacture funny under pressure and this is pressure because you're gonna put this in the paper just to humiliate me now, aren't you?". Hv, meanwhile, exclusively commented: "It's amazing that our wonderful newspaper has lasted for so long, especially when you figure Gerrycheevers has been fully back on board since early this year, UU is still hanging around in between banning people and huffing stuff, and with other contributors still pitching in, plus a plentiful supply of Cajek bans to use as padding (see next story), it looks like the immediate future of the paper is in Wish we'd gotten a quote from Cajek though. Bastard. Cajek 100 Ban Extravaganza During the very same week that Uncyclopedia's most well-known journalism source (suck it, UnNews!) celebrates its first birthday with much cake and punch, one of its co-founders achieved his own personal milestone by being banned for the one hundredth time. Rumors of making Cajek an admin when he reached the milestone have thus far not proven to be true, although he may have magically gained sysop powers upon entering triple-digit territory and we just won't know it until he comes back from wherever he's hiding in a hailstorm of admin-related activity (whatever it is that they do). The milestone was reached largely thanks to users such as Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who took to the streets in a grassroots effort to raise awareness, and Gerrycheevers, who went directly to certain sysops with demonstrably active bansticks pleading for a "Cajek-whooping." The landmark 100th ban was achieved yesterday, with the good Dr. Skullthumper blocking Cajek with an expiry time of "a milestone". The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Cajek, and also plead for his return. Cajek was unavailable for comment, and this reporter was once again chased off of the grounds of the Cajek Mansion, this time by the abstract philosophical concept of existentialism. From the desk of the Cabal Special
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19:49, 7 May 2009 (UTC)Co-writing[edit source]
It seems intersting. I, personally, have exactly the opposite opinion, and think humor is better left to the hands of one individual. That's why I left IC. Sometimes too many cooks in the creative kitchen really fuck the broth up. However, I *am* co-authoring a story with a friend from college over the summer, as well as joint DM-ing with her (so we're both working on the scenario together). Not that you needed to know any of that. I guess the point of all of that is I *prefer* to work alone, but will co-author stuff with people under certain circumstances. It basically depends on what your ideas are. Tell me what they are, and then we'll talk. —Sir Guildensternenstein 15:46, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
- What does DM'ing stand for? --Docile hippopotamus 16:19, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
- To answer hippo's question, Dungeon Mastering. We are both going to be Dungeon Masters. For those of you who have never played D&D, it's actually quite a lot of work, from what I understand, which is why we're doing it together. ANYWAY, Multi (your pet name from now on, because I'm not typing out your full name each time), I like some of those ideas, and dislike some. Emo Rap doesn't tickle me, but I do like Jesus the Comedian (it could be about how Christ was the best deadpan comic ever, and how all his peace, love and charity works were all BS, or something) and Hardware Store (Hardware Store in particular). I think HS would function best as an UnScript, but that's just my own opinion. But yeah. I might (stress the might) be on board for one of them, but I can't say for now. Right now I'm waiting on my friend to photoshop images for my new UnBook and three D&D articles, plus I'd like to either write Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater or re-write Akira Kurosawa fairly soon. And write the final two supplements to my D&D:IRL series no one gives a shit about but me. So yeah. —Sir Guildensternenstein 20:27, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Bgaaaah![edit source]
Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.
And no, I have no intention of changing this template any time soon.
—Sir Guildensternenstein
A MEESAGE FROM THE FILIPINO EMPIRE[edit source]
Subject: ¡CONGRATULATIONS!
Dear Multiliteralist,
You have been selected to star in the new show on JNNN TV Anda 1 called Rokémon. Your part is the main character, who is named Crash Ketchup. You have been given a lead part, and the main role as well. Congratulations!
From Your Majesty of the Filipino Empire,
- Thanks a lot for the part - and the role as well. Now, as I promised, I might get interested. -- Style Guide 14:49, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost May 14th[edit source]
The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!
May 14th, 2009 • Issue 47 • And you will know our name is the UnSignpost when we lay our news upon you!
Wales Speaks Exclusively to UnSignpost!
When pressed on these vital issues, Jimbo confided to us: "You kids get offa my pipe! Now, where's my lawn?" These are words that every user will interpret in their own special way - Jimbo, like all great orators, has the ability to make profound pronouncements that each and every listener will put their own unique spin on, so that it seems he is talking to them alone. Whatever pearl of wisdom you find in this oracular utterance, we are sure it is exactly what you were intended to find. Crowning Acheevement
Rules < Funny: The Essay
Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it?
In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about 3 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers". The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously. |
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19:38, 15 May 2009 (UTC)Der Unwehr[edit source]
Check this out, and join if you really want to: User:Guildensternenstein/Der Unwehr —Sir Guildensternenstein 21:27, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
Game Portal First Draft Done[edit source]
User:Mnbvcxz/GamePortal. I'm not done with it yet, but I did figure out how to do boxes in boxes. Most of my time was spend creating the "did you knows" on the middle right. I'll need to add a link to other portals and sub-portals, probably a featured article, and some other stuff. --Mnb'z 07:33, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- Another Update I added a featured section (its a random selection of 2006-2007 features) and moved some stuff around a bit. I also overhauled (and simplified) the formatting. My goal with the portal is mainly to convey information, and I'm trying to avoid a main-page parody. The wikipedia portals don't look like their mainpage, and we have more than enough mainpage parodies already.
- Of course, I'm not to happy with my portal's format right now, its "cleaner", but it has very "amateur" look to it. --Mnb'z 05:16, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost May 21st[edit source]
The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!
May 21st, 2009 • Issue 48 • I've seen news you... people wouldn't believe
Glorious Cajek return story
People disappearing, people reappearing, people with little time on their hands, bots unavailable In the mean time, fortunately, several other users have made glorious returns to Uncyclopedia. As documented elsewhere, a Cajek is apparently back and doing stuff. MNM5150 has been doing some things around places, mostly the forums. Readmesoon has been spotted at VFH and a few talkpages. Yettie has been sporadically active. And Todd Lyons has been doing more stuff recently than he was doing less recently. A lot of users seem to be unable to contribute as their work/school requires them to spend their time on "useful" things. The more young adult users/little kids seem to be struggling with certain "finals", like Mahm00shA for instance. SysRq appears to be working on his graduation. Statistics show that Hyperbole's activity has been rather low, but recently increased dramatically. For how long this trend will continue is uncertain. UU has been here intermittently, but keeps proclaiming himself to be "busy". He commented "I don't have time. In fact, I may not even have time for banning and deleting today, things are going fucking nuts! [...] I have teetering mounds of work, and nowhere near enough time! Arrrrrgh! (I almost feel a second exclamation mark coming on, but nothing's that bad...)" He then proved himself to be a big fat liar by editing this story and various other bits of the UnSignpost. Additionally, while Wikipedia is being overrun by bots, they seem to have gone completely extinct on Uncyclopedia. This has led to our beloved Socky becoming partly mechanized in order to fill the role of paperbot. However, he is currently planning to get his bot operational so he won't have to tire his arse off every week. Porn! Porn! Pr0n!
There has been somewhat of a controversy as of lately about the existence of supposed pornographic images on Uncyclopedia. Some support the view "Only if it's funny.", while others say "Meh." The controversy led Orian57 to put all his gay porn on QVFD. Optimuschris was quoted saying "I don't know what the fuss is all about, there's no porn on Uncyclopedia!" The discussion seems to have concluded in something like "If it's really bothering you and isn't funny in any way, delete it!" Mnbvcxz might also want to add that pictures showing prominent nudity could give rise to some legal issues, though he wasn't actually available for comment, so we can't really be sure. Usergroups! Usergroups! Usergroups!
War is raging in usergroup land. IC, suffering major losses, has been grinded to a halt and was forced into defensive strategy, regressing to trench warfare. But UNSOC, with masses of new recruits, has declared an all out war against any potential competition. Meanwhile, a new powerful group has arisen, Der Unwehr, and they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Goa Tse Clan has gone into hiding and remains a mystery to most Uncyclopedians. "The End" is being foretold once more
Since this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make it to the press, it was inevitable that there would be foretellings of "The End" and it being "near". On Forum:Count to a million, Orian57 was found stating "we could all die [...] then how stupid would we look?" A lot of users made somewhat eccentric speculations on how several issues were related to this "impending doom". Multiliteralist, Cajek and Optimuschris posted the following "articles" in response to a request to write something for the UnSignpost. Porn and the impending doom As we all know, the impending doom to all good things is caused by porn. This vile practice of drawing pictures of naked women has spread so wide among our young men that it is almost impossible to get them to do anything else. User groups and the impending doom
No wai, the impending doom is caused by user groups! Impending doom and porn
Our porn! The usergroups are coming, and with them...impending doom! Treasure these last few mumble with your porn for the end is nigh! First person article about porn and impending doom I was in a usergroup, watching porn. Suddenly I understood watching porn in a usergroup would do nothing against the impending doom. I got rather stuck, and forgot the reason. Later, I forgot about the impending doom as well. That's what watching porn in a usergroup will do to you. Suddenly I understood: if you are the first person in a usergroup, nobody can make you watch porn. My advice
The perfect solution to problems with porn, usergroups, and the impending doom Form your own usergroup and make others watch porn! |
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23:27, 21 May 2009 (UTC)Collaboration[edit source]
Yes, well, I had this silly idea for rewriting Nuremberg Trials and I sort of got underway, but ran out of steam rather quickly. The idea is that since people (Top Gear fans) are really dumb, and constantly refer to the Nurburgring as Nurembergring, it might be nice to perpetuate this myth in the most UnEducational way and basically destroy modern German history and geography all at once. The sections I want to include at present are History, Current Format, Famous Meetings (e.g. the Trials). However I am sort of puzzled about how best to proceed, and totally open to suggestions and even a full-on collab if you're keen. IronLung 03:00, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- OK much of what you suggested was very good. Although I have suddenly become rather busy, I'll make a mock-up at some stage as a launch point. Cheers! IronLung 01:20, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
Anyone say front pages?[edit source]
Hey, I saw your topic in the Village Dump... and I thought that I might be able to help with your creation of portal pages. I am pretty good with Formating and have re-made the Uncyclopedia front page into a userpage before just for the fun of it. I am at your command. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 14:34, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
Your Space Rewrite[edit source]
Are you planning on doing it as part of Der Unwehr? Because you totally could. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:12, 25 May 2009 (UTC)