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The brewing and consumption of English beer, or "Warm piss water" as it is known in Britain, is a sure sign that the typically polite, warmhearted, and fairly intelligent limey that you see before you is, in actuality, either a raging alcoholic or a person of such rare gastric fortitude and mental deficiency that the entire Isle could sink beneath them and they'd laugh about it for days.

The mystery of why pub dwellers drink this swill has confused the gentry for centuries. Nowadays the English cannot afford refrigerators to chill their beer, as they spend their meager salaries on nicotine, sugar, Chinese trinkets, burberry hats (see chavs), and the latest fashions from India. But since the invention of refrigeration is historically recent, and certainly doesn't explain why Brits first began to down the dreary suds, a brief look into the fog of history may provide answers. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

*... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?

... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?

... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?

... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?

... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?

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On this day...
May 21: Appreciation Appreciation Day 1453 - Hundred Years' War finally ends. France win after a penalty shoot-out. 1587 - The Puritans sit down with the Native Americans and appreciate the hospitality. The Native Americans do not appreciate the smallpox. 1874 - Husbands in New York walk to New Jersey to drink away from the prying eyes of their teetotaler wives. 1989 - Patrick Bateman beats his own record for number of prostitutes killed in one night. 1991 - President George H.W. Bush declares May 21st to be Appreciation Appreciation Day, to appreciate all the appreciation going on in the world. 2004 - Che Guevara comes out of hiding after faking his death, is surprisingly cool with having his face sold on T-shirts. (Pictured) 2011 - God takes a quick nap, people breath a little easier for a few hours without God to give people shame. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's fattiest picture

Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image credit: Thetoastman
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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