Babel:Nk
로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 37,688 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.
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Today's Party Column“Peter…” My mother asks me as the titles to Loose Women roll. “Why don’t you get a job?” “But I can’t get a job mother, haven’t you heard about the economic crisis? There are no jobs!” I patronise, with only the faintest idea of what an economy might be. “Pah!” Father pipes up re-ruffling his paper. “That’s just an excuse for those pithy paper pushing poofs. I bet you don’t even know what the economy is!” “Sure I do, it’s, erm, the jobs ratios or—god is that the time!? I have to go!” “Go where?” He says lowering the paper. “It's not like you have a job.” And therefore I don't have a life, obviously. Were you actually trying be ironic there? “When is it you’re on that cruise again?” I ask as my parting shot. Stupid retired people, they don’t want to work and get away with it! (Full article...) You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device Our glorious historyMay 18: "We Can Eat Cows Today" Day (India)
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Today in the DPRK
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision It is an irreputable fact...
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Party members of the monthHoly cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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