Babel:Nk

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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Today's Party Column


In real life, all cops are bad cops

Hi there. Take a seat. Have a biscuit. A digestive, maybe? Chocolate Hob nob? The choice is entirely yours. Don't let me pressure you. Don't even have a biscuit if you don't want one. It matters not one jot to me, so long as you are comfortable and happy. Tell you what, forget the biscuit. Pretend it never happened. I'm truly sorry I even brought it up. If I could make the world biscuit-free, just for you, I would - but heck, I'm just a cop on a salary. My influence on the biscuit industry is pretty limited.

So, today, we are going to discuss the Good cop/Bad cop interrogation technique. Would you like that? Great! Let's get started. For this technique, you need two cops, a small room and a suspect - that's you! I'm good cop and I want to be your friend. Would you like to be my friend? Let's be friends. Now that we are two friends in one room, we can learn about interrogation techniques.

Ok, before we go any further, I want to introduce you to my partner, Bad cop. Now, I think it is only fair to warn you that while Bad cop is a dedicated, fair and hardworking guy, he can sometimes be a tiny weenie little bit, well, how can I put this... psychotic? (Full article...)

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Today in the DPRK


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Party members of the month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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