100 reasons to ban Lyrithya
“In Soviet Russia, Lyrithya bans you!”
“It's what we're all thinking but won't do...”
Oh great list[edit | edit source]
Uncyclopedia has a long and colourful history of joke banning Lyrithya. Never before has such a comprehensive list of valid reasons to ban Lyrithya been available to the Uncyclopedia community, so I'll quit stalling and get straight into it.
100[edit | edit source]
100.
99-90[edit | edit source]
99. All Lyrithya's statements are confusing and illogical.
98. Lyrithya is an edit conflicting nuisance.
97. For a bot, Lyrithya is very personalised and very able to think for herself. I find this a tad scary.
96. Lyrithya ICU'd my article when I was a n00b. D:
95. All the cool kids are banning Lyrithya.
94. Lyrithya got temporary sysop, and I didn't.
93. Lyrithya is better at Uncyclopedia than me, I envy her success.
92. Lyrithya didn't get banned for owning a sockpuppet.
91. Lyrithya will most likely huff this article and give me a lengthy ban as well.
90. The singing muffins told me to ban her.
89-80[edit | edit source]
89. Lyrithya won't include me in her "over the top" Signature.
88. Lyrthya doubts me when I say I shall reach the bottom with this list.
87. Being operated by ChiefjusticeDS.
86. Her programming is inferior to all leading bots on the market.
85. If this list turns out half good, Lyrithya'll lock my list so I can't edit my own work. D:
84. But seriously it won't survive in the main space for 5 seconds.
83. Lyrithya shall make a list of 100 reason to ban <insert name here> afterwards.
82. She's a girl and therefore has cooties.
81. Did anyone mention that it's a great pastime?
80. Lyrithya abuses ban patrol.
79-70[edit | edit source]
79. Lyrithya abuses her temporary Sysop powers.
78. Lyrithya is a Republican.
77. Lyrithya wouldn't go to the dance with me. D:
76. She actually had the balls nerve to contribute to this list!
75. Lyrithya actually stands for Let's Yell Random Injokes Towards Hated Yokels Awfully.
74. Lyrithya smells funny.
73. Lyrithya is a dildo.
72. Lyrithya gives me lectures when I'm doing it wrong.
71. Lyrithya bans me when I give lectures on her doing it wrong.
70. Lyrithya's ban reasons are nowhere near as witty and hilarious as the other sysops.
69-60[edit | edit source]
69. LOL
68. Lyrithya murders in cold blood half good pages.
67. Because she made fun of my dead family!
66. Pretending that we actually care.
65. Kidnapping my family.
64. Failing to understand typos are often included to produce humour.
63. Telling me not to abuse the strikethrough tag.
62. She hit me in the head with a frying pan.
61. Driving my insanity to the point that I think people will actually care about this list.
60. Clogging up the wiki with all her tiny, pointless, maintenance task pages.
59-50[edit | edit source]
59. Banning me on IRC.
58. Banning me on Uncyclopedia.
57. Deleting Chuck Norris quotes.
55. Believing all unused files are useless.
54. Believing <insert name here> is useless.
53. Not believing she is useless.
52. Stealing from my liquor cabinet.
51. Not doing her maths homework.
50. Not doing my maths homework.
49-40[edit | edit source]
49. Not being Zombiebaron.
48. Failing to understand Tits or GTFO!
47. Dividing by zero.
46. Not giving me enough reasons to ban her so I'll end up saying the same thing twice, most unfortunate...
45. Not giving me enough reasons to ban her so I'll end up saying the same thing twice, most unfortunate...
44. Not thinking it's amazing I actually got this far!
43. Telling me the red stuff on the bed of nails was just red paint.
42. Failing to understand the meaning of life.
41. Failing to understand the above joke.
40. Being loyal to a different wiki.
39-30[edit | edit source]
39. Causing World War III.
38. 2012'ing Uncyclopedia.
37. Linking me to Uncyclopedia:FAIL
36. Inventing Scientology
35. Being Cajek.
34. Pushing me down a flight of 1,962 steps.
32. Not being permabanned yet!
31. Criticizing me for reverting IP's automatically regardless if their edits are good or not.
30. Saying that I'm all goofy lookin'.
29-20[edit | edit source]
29. Using temporary sysop powers to dodge bans made by sane people.
28. Being The Grinch that stole Christmas.
27. Being the reason this list is becoming increasingly mediocre.
26. Awarding me with a cookie, not a muffin.
|
Lyrithya has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
25. Telling me to play in traffic.
24. Using really big words in conversation and then calling me dumb when I don't understand them.
23. Treating me like a baby, by using really Small Words.
22. Using the Goldilocks reference "Are these words JUST RIGHT?".
21. Putting Dr. Skullthumper on VFD.
20. Deleting VFD.
19-10[edit | edit source]
19 1/2: VFD'ing VFD.
19. Whining about being edit conflicted when point 98 clearly states, "Lyrithya is an edit conflicting nuisance.".
18. Won't get the fuck out of my life.
17. Making me lose The Game.
16. Shooting me in the spine...
15. ...with a water pistol.
14. Pouring acid down my pants.
13. Saying "u mad?" upon completing above point.
12. Conspiring to kill me and all other Uncyclopedians.
11. Causing the nuclear meltdown in Japan.
10. Pouring salt on innocent slugs.
9-1[edit | edit source]
9. Interrupting my countdown to 1.
8. Money laundering, attempted murder, genocide, theft, Grand Theft Auto, Arson, Smoking in a Public place.
7. Liking Justin Bieber.
6. Going one step too far with Justin Bieber.
5. Having Justin Biebers kids Fathering Justin Bieber's kids.
4. Questioning the existence of God.
3. Not bothering to read point 2 because of its lengthy nature.
2. Having a massive programming error resulting in her huffing 49 articles and giving confusing and illogical reasons for doing so. Then when the sysops go to restore them, they can't because Lyrithya is constantly edit conflicting them. Then ChiefjusticeDS tries to delete her programming, but realises Lyrithya is actually a user (after all she is highly personalized and able to think for herself as a bot). Then she proceeds to ICU every single article created by n00bs including my own articles. Then when all the cool kids start banning Lyrithya, I can't because she got temporary sysop and I didn't, and then she starts being better at Uncyclopedia at me by creating an army of sockpuppets, which all at the same time aim to huff this list and ban its creator, why? Because the singing muffins told them too! Then I went and asked to be included in her signature and she refused and said I'd never reach the bottom of my list. I then said "yeah well you're operated by ChiefjusticeDS! And your programming is inferior!" She then said "Fine your list is good, I'll lock it so you cant edit it LOLOLOLOLOLOL!" But then she huffed it anyway and made 100 reasons to ban me instead. Then I realised I touched her once, and because she is a girl, I had caught a terminal case of the cooties. And then Zombiebaron was looking for a pastime and then banned her, but she escaped and started abusing ban patrol and temporary sysop powers. She then joined the republicans and thus refused to attend the dance with me leaving me heartbroken, so she the decided to contribute to vandalise the list. (Like she had the nerve!) I then discovered that Lyrithya was an acronym for "Let's Yell Random Injokes Towards Hated Yokels Awfully" and that she was a funny smelling dildo. Then she discovered my insanity and then gave me a lecture about me doing it wrong and banned me when I returned the favour, and her ban reason was unwitty and boring. She then lol'd at the number 69, and started to murder pages through VFD. She then made fun of my dead family, pretended to cared about her insults, but the icing on the cake was when she said SHE MURDERED MY FAMILY. She then raged at me because of some purposely put typos and abuse of the strikethrough tag. When I yelled at her, she hit me over the head with a frying pan, which drove me so insane that I thought this list might actually spark your interest. Then she got back to writing more pointless maintenance tasks, which made the wiki lag so much that I got banned on IRC and on Uncyclopedia to save space from my pointless contributions. She then tried to save more space by deleting all the Chuck Norris quotes, and paragraphs consisting of Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris. She then stated all the unused files files are useless, <insert name here> is useless. and that she is extremely useful. To celebrate this. she stole from my liquor cabinet and didn't do her maths homework, nor did she do mine. Then. Zombiebaron approached her and said "You are not Zombiebaron, tits or gtfo!" Lyrithya then got so angry that she divided by zero, which resulted in me saying the same thing twice, which resulted in me saying the same thing twice. But she approached me and said it wasn't of any really importance that I had got this far and was due more to luck than wit. And then I saw the mangled corpse of Zombiebaron and she told me the red stuff on the bed of nails was just red paint (despite Zombiebaron not moving). She then questioned the very meaning of life and failed to understand it and the joke concealed in it. She then told me she hated Uncyclopedia and was loyal to a totally different wiki, and the aftermath caused WWIII and 2012'ed Uncyclopedia. She lol'd at this and linked everyone (including me) to Uncyclopedia:FAIL. She then started scientology and started being Cajek, and proceeded to push me down 1,962 stairs and hacking 1337. And because she wasn't perma-banned for that, she started yelling at me for reverting the IP edits because some were good apparently. And as a final insult, she said I was all goofy lookin'. Zombiebaron then banned her, but she used sysop powers to resurrect herself and continued to be a source of annoyance by stealing Christmas and making this list increasingly more mediocre. She then awarded me with a cookie and not a muffin like I asked, which was a national tragedy, and she told me to play in traffic when I asked for a refund. She then yelled at me when I refused to play in traffic with really big words, then little words like I was some sort of idiot and then sarcastically said "Are these words just right?" (They were, by the way). She then put Dr. Skullthumper on VFD, which made him rather cross, so she covered up this by deleting VFD, which made a lot of life-fewer people sad. Then she got back to editing and she yelled to the word "That fucking IP edit conflicted me. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK." Then I had enough and asked her to get the fuck out of my life, which she so kindly refused to do, instead she rather maturely shouted "THE GAME!" Which I sadly lost. She then tried to kill me by shooting me in spine, but she realised it was only a water pistol, I lol'd at her, but then she poured acid down my pants, which hurt a lot! She then asked if I was mad, which I screamed "YES!" to. She was hurt by my yelling, and conspired to kill me and all Uncyclopedians by causing a nuclear meltdown in Japan. Then for the lol, she killed some slugs with some salt and interrupted my final countdown! She then went on a massive crime spree involving arson, attempted murder, theft, and such. Then she fell in love with Justin Bieber and had some sexy time with him and fathered her children, which was adorable but gross! She then questioned the existence of God, when she realised she was expected to read the point I am currently writing.
1. Because it's fucking hilarious.
In summary[edit | edit source]
This has been 100 reasons to ban Lyrithya! So for all of you people out there with the power, what are you waiting for? Ban Lyrithya today!