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Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to Pirateopedia (formally HMS Uncyclopedia), the duty-free encyclopedia that pirates can edit Arghh! Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 37,686 ships since we set sail in January 2005. Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank. If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight) Buried Treasure: Bilge Rats | Games | Marine Technology | Pirates | Grog | Coherent Most Succesful Pirates | LLoyds List's | Other Ships...

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Here at Uncyclopedia, we do not wish to promote the practise of driving above the designated speed limit. This of course is highly dangerous: as every good driver knows, once a car exceeds 65mph, the speed barrier is broken, causing the vehicle to explode in a fit of spontaneous combustion. However, because traffic cops are such tightwads, they are constantly on the lookout for innocent motorists who serve as potential 'speeders'. Although these motorists may be travelling at a completely reasonable speed (130mph), the typical police officer is required to pull over and fine at least fifty motorists per day in order to rake in their "quota" --- i.e., the obligatory total of drug/beer/doughnut/prostitute money the police force needs to amass in order to keep themselves adequately happy and stay in business. This, as one can imagine, is quite a hefty sum, so it is unsurprising to be pulled over by a policeman at regular intervals. That's why we have put together this handy guide to beat the feds and avoid receiving those irritating speeding tickets and fines. Plus! Now thickhead intercontinentally friendly! (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support User:Y UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies Pikmin Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose. More of the best Pirates from the good ship Pirateopedia edit What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh! May 17: Day of the Exhausted Dog 1458 - Pope Pius II declares that Spain does not exist. 1397 - The Vikings commit their most heinous crime by founding Sweden. 1865 - Abraham Lincoln turns down tickets to the Ice Capades in order to see a play 1975 - The split infinitive is invented. In protest, grammarians sets themselves on fire. NYT obit: "They died as they lived, prepared to selflessly martyr themselves for what they believed in." 1914 - Stand-up British gents die jolly-good deaths in World War I. 1982 - Pope John Paul II readmits Spain to existence, apologizes for his forepope's bigotry. 2009 - Minecraft is created by Sir Notch VII. 2012 - The word lol is finally added to the Oxford dictionary, despite numerous protests from stuffy prescriptivists like Stephen Fry. Archived doings	edit What be worrying the Land Lubbers Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured) Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision Recent deaths: O. J. Simpson · Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's "whole mans career" Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes (watch this jinx them lol) Pirate Times edit Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that... From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains: ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting? Read More
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Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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