Babel:96
Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.
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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
Links | Portals | Portals of links | Creators of portals | <M/ARQUEE> Links to portals | WWW
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My favorite Word document[edit source]
MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Now with twice the features!![edit source]
The People's Republic of China is a pivotal support mechanism for the retail industry worldwide, although some believe they may have their own agenda.
China is populated by perhaps the most resourceful hardworking people on Earth, yet despite some of the strictest social engineering known to man, the Chinese still hog all the best quality crab legs in the buffet rather than waiting in an orderly line. Chinese moms force their babies to play violin until their fingers bleed; the dumb ones learn viola instead. Also, they put a fuck-ton of MSG in their food, which is actually pretty tasty.
Everything was invented in China, including gunpowder, paper, the compass, opium, pandas, panda-huffing devices, avian flu, SARS, bat recipes, COVID-19, USA's debt, Amazon Prime and CCTV; you name it, they invented it before anyone else. They also invented rhino horn aphrodisiac powder, Confucianism (a severely autistic, highly regimented version of Filial Piety), kidney harvesting and the Wu Tang Clan. While they didn't invent babies, they do mass produce them deep inside the VaChina. Bada bing! The male babies are then sent to work producing industrial glycine, and the female ones are sent to the streaming mines to post pirated clips of TV shows, except the captions are wrong and the video gets horizontally flipped every 2.7 seconds. (Full article...)
Tell me how good my website is.
The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!
Facts about me[edit source]
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
History Channel[edit source]
November 19: Buy the Turkey Stuffing Day
- 2500 BC - Pharaoh Whahuti invents the phrase 'thank you' and requests the phrase to be planted on every garbage can.
- 461 - St. Hilarius becomes Pope. Ironically, his pontificate turns out to be only mildly amusing.
- 1605 - Puritans get food from Native Americans, then drive them away and take their land in traditional American fashion.
- 1716 - Sir Isaac Newton coins the phrase 'Thanks a lot!'. Unfortunately, it gets no recognition among trash men. Seconds later, he coins the phrase 'What a prick."
- 1942 - Stalingrad: Soviet Union forces under General Zhukov launch the Operation Uranus counterattacks, turning the tide of the battle in the USSR's favor. Stalin radios for information and asks him, "How's Uranus doing?"
Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit source]
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea (Pictured)
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
- United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports
- A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race
- US government shitdown ends after over 1000 flights inundated with shit
- New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor
- Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball
- Dingo eats a woman's baby
- Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star.
- Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
- Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
- The US government shits itself
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing "Mamdani the Commie" • Larry Sanger trying to kill Wikipedia • the New England Patriots suddenly being good again
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • Mark Butt-fumble's TV career • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Bruce Willis
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Coral reefs • NYC's capitalistic economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they might actually miss the playoffs • Weed • Stranger Things
Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)
Other cool sites[edit source]
- Why is book?
- Halloween Ends
- Stranger Things (rw)
- G.I. Jane
- G.I. Jane 2
- UnTunes:Santa Baby
- This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich
- Fairytale
- UnTunes:Shoes
- Uncyclopedia:Business (rw)
- Halloween Kills
- UnTunes:Perry the Platypus
- Elon's Musk
- UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw)
- UnTunes:Rio
- Herodotus (rw)
- Brawny
- Lawnmower-Humvee (rw)
- Steve Wozniak (rw)
- Narrative (rw)
- Bryan Adams High School
- Alex Trebek
- Lincoln Logs
- Brexit
- Where Is Everybody?
- UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals)
- Avi Toledano
- Eli Roth
- Film (remake)
- African American
- Worst 100 Reflections on 2018
- Ray Charles
- Bernardo Butterlucci
- Urban Dictionary
Write my english paper for me!
Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself
Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down
Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper
 David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. |
 If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. |
Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
- My friend Brad - He needs a bone marrow transplant LOL!
- My colleadge fund - so i can get a good job
- My web hosting company - Unlimited bandwidth and diskspace for only 50 cents a month
- Hersheys - They want to build a Chocolate New Orleans
- Oragami - Crazy japs
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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