Babel:96

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Why? Because we told you to.


Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.

HIT COUNTER (Powered by AOL) <::::\-/-\-/::::> 26 views since ever.


<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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Why? Because we told you to.


Cant touch this!!!!
Cant touch this</table>!!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!

Links | Portals | Portals&nbsp;of&nbsp;links | Creators&nbsp;of&nbsp;portals&nbsp; | <M/ARQUEE> Links&nbsp;to&nbsp;portals&nbsp; | WWW
Funny pictures | Search | Internet Explorer</b>

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My favorite Word document[edit source]


awesome

MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95

Now with twice the features!![edit source]

Bill Clinton.jpg

Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.

Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.

Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)

Tell me how good my website is.

The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!


Plug in your computer better!

Why? Because we told you to.

Facts about me[edit source]

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  • ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
  • ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
  • ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
  • ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
  • ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
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  • ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
  • ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
  • ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
  • ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
  • ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?

History Channel[edit source]


The Rite of Spring, you had to read the alt text to get it didn't you

April 3: Vivaldi Appreciation Day

  • 1220 - Rampaging crusaders drive a trebuchet through the walls of two towers in Ancient Syria.
  • 1666 - Sir Marquis Baron Vivaldi walks to the crossroad and sells his soul to Satan
  • 1888 - Vivaldi composes new record "A Change of Four Seasons", inspired by regressive metal band Dream Theater.
  • 1945 - Scientists discover that if you play John Cage's 4'33" backward you'll hear someone cough, but backwards.
  • 1974 - Tornadoes sweep the U.S.A, inspiring the invention of the tumble drier.
  • 1986 - D.J. murder rate at all-time high, blamed on the provocative lyrics of The Smiths.
  • 1996 - Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, is arrested for crimes against tasteful nomenclature, and killing like six people.



Photos from my 14th birthday

Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit source]



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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four

Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. StricklandC.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season, choked away at the last moment

Upcoming deaths: IranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • SoraTiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too


Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)

Other cool sites[edit source]


English paper

Write my english paper for me!


Proofreading

I stubbed my toe and it hurts

Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself



Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down

Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper

Wotm.jpg

David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


Why? Because we told you to.

Noobaward.jpg

If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006


WEBRING

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.


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