Rice
"I like rice."
Aaron Brothers on rice.
Description
The Rice is a small predator native to North Japan. It feeds mainly on hamsters, though ten percent of the species is vegetarian. Their life span is rather short, due to their habitat requirements (A wet region) and lack of contact with other rice. Despite this, a Rice can breed up to a billion Ricese. In spite of their size, they are reowned for their vicious nature; a Rice will attack and perhaps kill anyone who wanders near its territory.
A lesser known subspecies of Rice is known as 'Mochi,' which lives in inner cities. The most common form of attacking its prey is "throat lodging" and it usually feeds on the elderly.
Rice can also describe the fruit/colour. There are only two other things that are a fruit/colour: Oranges, and Pianos.
Heirarchy
The Rice have a large and strict form of government, known as a Monarchy.
- The Queen of Rice is always named "Sativa". She rules all of the Rice with an iron, yet tasty fist. She resides in a castle constructed out of deceased subjects.
- The King of Rice is generally some stable hand the Queen had relations with one drunken night. He is always eaten upon ascension to the throne.
- The Bishop of Rice is the Queen's advisor on all the ricey matters at hand.
- The Royal Bath Attendant is in charge of giving the Queen her soy sauce baths daily. Being the Royal Bath Attendant is a risky job, as many have been hanged for turning the temperature up too high.
- The Knights of Rice are the military force who hunt down prey. They are the most common rank of rice.
- The Chef Rieze is in charge of cooking and preparing food for the queen. He must always be from France, and can be distinguished by his moustache.
Survival
Because Rice are so aggressive, remembering these tips can ensure your survival. Mostly.
- Remain calm - Rice can smell fear
- Don't make sudden movements - Tip-toe through the rice fields
- Don't swear around Rice - They are conservative
- Use a shotty - The more, the better!
If you are bitten, consider yourself screwed.