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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

The Guinness Brewmasters are the two men responsible for creating Guinness beer and various other inventions, most notably Irish Stepdancing. The duo is made up of famous physicist and electrical engineer Nikola Tesla, and 27^th president of the United States, William Howard Taft. Recently, they starred in an American ad campaign for their beer, created by their new slave animator Terry Gilliam, better known as "that guy that makes the funny cartoons that look like 18th century watercolors on Monty Python". Chiefly known for their catchphrase, "BRILLIANT!”. They have entered the halls of American pop culture as "those funny guys that do stupid things on the moving picture box and say Brilliant!”

Besides Guinness beer, the pair have invented several other things during their time researching together, including sobriety, pick-up lines, the alternating current electric motor, and the spoon. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)

... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?

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In the news [edit]

Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for a threesome
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing NBA Finals they would have lost anyways
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War, now with Iran and America! • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing

Recent deaths: Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly ~~Stallone~~ Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's leadership • Oil prices

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On this day [edit]

June 23: Burn Your Middle School Sonic OC Fanfiction Day

1610 - Europe is carved into that funny shape we all know it to be.
1929 - Puppies declared the cutest darned thing, Infant Lobby promises to take this to the Supreme Court.
1941 - Lithuania overthrows their Soviet oppressors and becomes an independent nation for about a week before the Nazis invade.
1994 - I certainly didn't commit a triple homicide in Schenectady, New York, and their bodies were definitely not dumped in the Hudson river.
2007 - Those Sonic cartoons you drew in that dolphin notebook in middle school are still at your aunt's house. (Pictured)
2010 - The Second Coming of Jesus Christ is complicated when he comes back as a Native American, Protestants appalled, Catholics ashamed, as usual.
2016 - After some goading from America, the United Kingdom actually does it, the absolute madman.

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Picture of the day

The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay.

Image credit: Sliferjam
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