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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

2001: A Space Odyssey is a 1968 science fiction film, made in a collaboration between Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke. It is notable for lacking dialogue for a considerable duration near the start and towards the end, and for being utterly confusing to people who never read the book. Despite these obstacles, it is widely regarded as one of the best films ever made.

The comprehensible section of the film is set around 2001, when people have come to routinely land on and take off from the Moon, and the headwear of flight stewardesses has become as futuristic yet fashionable as the Segway. We are introduced to Heywood Floyd, talking to his daughter. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?

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In the news [edit]

Diddle me this, diddle me that, P. Diddy should be jailed for being wack

Doctor: Kamala Harris not elderly white man with dementia
Rapper and rapist Sean "P. Diddler" Combs admits to baby oil addiction (Pictured)
Joe Biden slips up, "accidentally" endorses Trump on Instagram
Lon Chaney and son endorse Kamala Harris
Former President Jimmy Carter turns 100
SNL returns, picks up our slack
Lucy makes surprise appearance in fighting video game
- And on SNL!
16 Takeaways on why news stories these days are dominated by takeaways
Florida Man tries and fails to get Trump shot again. Nobody cares this time, not even Trump.
Ukraine finally plays its Uno Reverse card against Russia
Tommy Wiseau making movie on cocaine sharks
Harris announces shark as running mate
Trump: How could an Indian be Black?
Nigel Farage blames murder on migrants and sucks Trump's dick
YouTuber Mr. Beast really professional fraudster.
Olympic Games begin with Lady Gaga at opening ceremony
Cocaine sharks now in Brazil
Michael Bay working on Skibidi Toilet movie

Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • FOOBAW season!
Recent deaths: The Sims 5 • Dame Maggie Smith • Kris Kristofferson • John Ashton (no, not Gomez. That guy from Beverly Hills Cop. The one who isn't Judge Reinhold or Paul Reiser or Bronson Pinchot. Yeah, him.) • Rafael Nadal's tennis career
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • NFL fans' attention to their wives and girlfriends • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Fútbol season • Coldplay

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On this day [edit]

October 15: Preggo Appreciation Day

25,000 BC - Erotic pregnant images are invented.
10,000 BC - Newts evolve the ability to live in human uteruses.
1300 - The Navajo invent Antbortion.
1682 - The Ovum is first viewed through a microscope.
1838 - American Evangelists begin teaching that being born again is necessary for salvation.
1885 - Scientists propose an alternate view of pregnancy.
1967 - Missouri politician Newtis Newtfield is born.
1972 - Abortion is legalized in the USA; dead unborn baby jokes proliferate. Also, Roberto Carlos Braga releases "Você é linda" (Estás tan linda), which is about how his woman looks so beautiful while she is expecting a baby. This has the unexpected consequence of preventing many abortions in Latin America.
1973 - Backstreet abortionists are run out of business by legal abortion clinics.
1974 - Planned Parenthood is founded, preforming free abortions in exchange for money and reffering freinds to do the same.
1981 - The first successful hotwiring of a uterus is preformed.
1988 - Preggobear is born.
1994 - Mama Luigi takes a sojourn to the mushroom kingdom and encounters a magic balloon.
1998 - AMA publishes: HowTo:Deliver a Baby, A Concise and Easy-to-follow Guide Developed, Tested, and Approved by the AMA (No, Not that AMA. The Other One) and Reprinted with the Permission of the JAMA (Also a Different One).
2005 - The phrase Uterus or GTFO! is invented.
2007 - Jamie Lynn Spears gets pregnant.
2008 - Sarah Palin's daughter's unborn child is pregnant
2011 - A newt moves into Miranda Cosgrove's uterus.
2012 - Newtis Newtfield becomes the first newt to be elected President of the United States.

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