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From today's featured article 

Tenetposter.jpeg

Tenet is a 2020 sci-fi action wtf film written and directed by Christopher Nolan. The film, which is definitely not Inception, stars the dude from BlacKkKlansman, the heartthrob that all the girls love from Twilight, that Australian chick who played Princess Di on The Crown, Michael Caine (of course), and a few other good actors that you like and will recognize but can't name off the top of your head. The film follows a former CIA agent who, well, it's like really complicated, even by Christopher Nolan's standards. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
  • ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
  • ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
  • ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
  • ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
  • ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?

In the news 

Robert F. Kennedy Jr., official portrait (2025).jpg
"...at least panda meat doesn't give you autism!" ‑RFK Jr.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Hollow Knight: Silksong, and Deltarune Chapter 3Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good yearDOGE firings and budget cuts • Myanmar earthquakeTornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors • Disney fans re-watching the original Snow White to forget the remake

Recent deaths: SkypeKingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensionsSpace GhostTesla's stock • Bob RiversMeghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good BurgerGeorge Foreman23andMeSnow Broke and the 9-figure loss for DisneyBruce GloverRichard ChamberlainRoger Daltrey's eyesight and hearingVal Kilmer

Upcoming deaths: Luigi MangioneYoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worsePope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • Your March Madness bracket and bank accountTornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie

On this day 

They're all dead now. It's an old picture.

April 2: National Refrigerator Day (Paraguay)

Picture of the day

The Jean Pool
Experts advise against chlorinating the jean pool, as it causes the dye to bleed, and acid-washed jeans haven't been cool since '86.

Image credit: RadicalX
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 39,420 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.