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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder (February 7, 1867 – February 10, 1957) was an American author. She wrote a series of books for children: Little House in the Big Woods, Little House on the Prairie, Little House on Plum Creek, Little House in the Long Winter, Little House on Silver Lake, Little House in Misery, Little House in a Parkdale Rest Home, Little House in the Housing Project and Little House on Pluto.

While these books are loosely based on her experiences, Wilder's private journals – revealed for the first time here on Uncyclopedia – show that her life was not always as described in the books. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)

... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?

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In the news [edit]

Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.

Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Trump presents new science project to Cabinet (Pictured)
Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
Trump fires Zakk Wylde
Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
Epstein list predictions
Starmer bans pornography nationwide
- Starmer to ban VPNs nationwide
Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia
Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys

Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3)

Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger in jail • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump, either by angry cartel members, "meanie judges", or (finally) releasing the Epstein files

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On this day [edit]

September 3: International Festival of Frowning at Cows (Saskatchewan)

447 B.C. - The word “fabulous” is invented by Plato.
1189 - Richard the Lionhearted is crowned King of England at Westminster, followed by a successful reign consisting chiefly of lazing in the sun and ridding the British Isles of zebras.
1783 - The American Revolutionary War comes to an end with the Treaty of Paris. While America wins, it concedes that Britain is still better than France.
1939 - Adolf Hitler embarks on his global tour, performing to a sold-out crowd in Warsaw.
1945 - Spoons were acquired by the known company, Tupperware.
1974 - William Shatner discovers the world's largest known deposits of tiberium in his back garden.
1971 - The day my Daddy died.
2005 - Bob sits down for dinner, frowns at his overcooked steak.

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Picture of the day

Symphonia, the Greek goddess of rock (Opera in Roman mythology) was one of the lesser goddesses born to Tethys and Oceanus. She is said to bless those who truly appreciate "a killer riff" by turning herself into a sculpture made out of stone (it is assumed marble). She is considered a lesser goddess because this happened only once.

Image credit: Zombiebaron
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