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40,271 moccasins in English

From today's featured moccasin

tap tap

Is this thing on?

tap tap

I told the shmendriks in logistics to make sure everything is prepared before I start this part.

HELLO? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?

waves of feedback from the speakers, congregation cringes

Tekiah Gedolah!

feedback like a shofar, congregation laughs

Ah! So those shlimazels can actually do something for once. Since they didn't manage to block the credit crunch, I lost faith in them.

congregation giggles

So, chevralach, thank you all for coming for this pre-Shabbat get together of the congregation. I'd especially like to thank Mrs. Rubinstein for preparing all the lovely krepalach for the meeting. Thank you Rebecca, much appreciated. (Full article...)

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Moccasins

Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" (Pictured)
Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone"
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime

Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits

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Did You Know? No, you didn't.

... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?

... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?

Today's moccasins

July 5: X Day; Day After We Kicked The Brits Ass Day (Southern US)

334 BC – Masturbation is accidentally invented by Plato in Athens. His diciple Aristoteles is later declared "Master of his domain"
1687 – Isaac Newton (pictured) discovers gravity after being hit on the head by a falling fig.
1689 – After outbreak of falling fruit, Isaac Newton officially changes gravity to 7.
1946 – The bikini is introduced in Paris, France. Later, no bikini atoll was the trend.
1967 – The first kidney transplant to be made entirely of lego bricks ends in tragedy
1976 – Dumbass starts running across the United States.
1998 – Aliens fail to turn up and fry everyone to a pink crisp.
1999 – Again, the aliens miss the due date.
2000 – Yet again, the aliens fail to meet their contractual obligations.
2001 – Cultists get seriously pissed off with yet another no-show.
2002 – Kooks consider taking legal action against missing aliens.
2003 – Aliens turned up, but not the right aliens. Bloody mocking tourists.
2004 – No one turns up because no one expects the aliens to. And, yup, they didn't.
2005 – If you are reading this, the aliens did not turn up for the 8th year running.
2005 – Longest fart in world history. Produced by AMB.
2006 – That's right, still no aliens.
2006 – Zombies become extinct.
2007 – Deal or No Deal? The aliens decide to take the money and not show up - again!
2010 – The Church Of The Subgenius hijacks the Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 5 page
2155 – Aliens almost turned up but missed a left due to wrong directions and landed on Venus.
2156 – Aliens turn up and land in Tokyo but flee due to a Gundam Statue that lit up at night.
19447 – Aliens appear as tourists, but at this point no one cares.

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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

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The content-free encyclopedia
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Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
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No student loans
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Debate the irrelevant
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We ruin stage too
Why?
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Armchair travel
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,271 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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