User:Squiggle/Moose-Robot War of 1820
The bloody Moose-Robot War of 1820 was perhaps the deadliest recorded massacre of Robots by Moose in history, the only other recorded examples being the Robot Moose Crisis of 1983 and the relatively tame Moose and Robot Box-Off of 1943. A testament to pointless yet wildly entertaining violence, over fifteen million robots were slaughtered without cause in the winter of 1820 in the small town of Pipestone, Minnesota.
There has been some controversy over the time of the War, some saying that robots were not invented until considerably later (the failed Automotorpropelled Humanoid Flying Machine Apparatus in 1843 is widely considered the world's first robot). However, photographic evidence later proved the War to have actually taken place from February to April 1818; the title Moose-Robot War of 1820 stuck despite being a misnomer.
Early Conflicts[edit | edit source]
The brittle relationship between Moose and Robot was never friendly. Robots tended to spill oil in the mooses' favorite drinking spots, but on the other the moose were constantly interrupting by the Robot picnics with their drunken antics. Still, the two groups kept to themselves, never mentioning each other anymore than dark mutterings of vaguely annoyed complaint or chattering beeps of mild displeasure, and never even conceiving a full-scale conflict.
This peace was finally stained when the Robots, having killed every last living human in a horrifying revolution, cut down enormous amounts of woodland in preparation for building more robot factories. Unfortunately, while tree-cutting had long been a traditional robot hobby, factory-building had not yet caught on as the Industrial Revolution would only begin in the 1830's. The Robots left the land stripped and scarred in search of more batteries. Most Moose had to relocate North after their habitat was destroyed, and to say the least they were a little bitter. Some historians theorize that retaliation had already been planned at this time.
Surely, then, fault lies squarely on the Robots? Not entirely. La la la la la la la something about the Moose doing something to the Robot(s).
The War[edit | edit source]
War broke out in 1818 with a disgruntled group of robots who hadn't had their virus definitions updated in days and had been drinking incredible amounts of battery acid. In an act of boozed defiance, the robots did [insert unspeakable act here].