User:Elite

		This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory of which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence. The black helicopters are not ^on their way.

Warning: This user is a Grammar Nazi and is probably out to get you. Check your spee'ling and proceed with caution.

The Elite, a half German, half American, half Schipperke, half Zombie, half killer copy editor, is 5 halves of pure typo-free evil.

The History of the Elite

In the beginning there was no writing. The uneducated people of yesteryear communicated purely through body language and audible sounds. It wasn't until around 4000 BC that people actually started communicating through hand written words. For years people were able to enjoy the use of this new method of communication, but then came the invention of the Internet, and all grammar rules were disregarded. It became nearly impossible to work together to form any kind of readable page. The natural order of things needed to be restored. Thus, the Elite was born.

Today, the Elite lurks the web, specifically a site called Uncyclopedia, destroying all signs of misspellings, and restoring order to an orderless virtual world.

Habitat and Prey

Although the Elite may re-write or contribute to an article from time to time, it can usually be found on typo intensive pages preying upon a writer's mistakes.

Natural enemies of the Elite include:

The Overused "..." This is an excruciatingly annoying creature, and can be found on even the funniest of pages. The Elite obliterates these on sight.

None Capitalized Letters

Poorly Worded Sentences

Simple Typos

Improper Punctuation

"There" in place of "Their" and Other Common Mistakes

The Elite In the Corporeal Universe

As described through overly colorful user boxes

1337

This user is elite.

1337

YA

This user is a young adult and so is probably poor, lazy and drunk ... or a student.

YA

♀

This user is a girl, and is made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice.

♀

This user is straight, and only desires intimate relations with members of the opposite sex. The freak!

This user is Single but is currently stalking someone.

Talking to The Elite

Bad User

---

This user is an asshole.
Please avoid direct contact.

when talkin to the elite keep in mind like all wild animals can attack without warning and may have rabies so for the sake of other peoples who dont want to have rabies dont get rabies because it will spread to those not wanting rabies and they will kill you with a fish. if you do get rabeis from it it was ur own fn fault and you should become a traveling hobo, because everybody nows hobos could have rabies and so usuly avoid them unless they are pandas.

If you understood any of that, the Elite will be proofreading your work very soon.

Protecting Yourself from an Elite Attack

Don't Screw Up

This user hates you and everyone you care about.

NO

This user doesn't care.

NO

--Elite 03:14, 26 August 2008 (UTC)