User:BlackInkWriter/Notes
I'm really ashamed to do this, I just wanted you to know! I do know much about HTML and all that code crap, but nevertheless, I have to put sis peydsh into my userdyractorry. Gesundheit!
|
This user likes Gootube! Go away! |
Things Hidden In Food Notes For Improvement[edit | edit source]
Humo(u)r: 5 There are good sections (Prisons) and sections that need work (Fast Food). I would try and add more satire (plays on words, situations, etc.) and rely less on violence or violent acts to provide the "fun" because they which are themselves not funny, just violent. BTW, Body of Christ gets two major thumbs up, and could you give me extra pickle with that?
Concept: 8 The concept is good - but its almost too broad. For example, I really like the idea of exploring the whole "body" of Christ as part of the menu to the point where it could become a stand alone article on its own. Same for the Prison food section. Prose and Formatting: 7 You can clean up the sentences by removing a great deal of filler. Work on making the sentences tighter and flex your semi-colons for good measure.
Images: 4 The score on this is low because I found the number of images distracting. Its better to have one good image then lots of smaller images. I would also consider a rebus image (file+Pie=freedom) something like that for the conceptually impaired. The one image that doesn't work for me is Image:CornFlakes.PNG; I would really recommend that you send that over to the Reefer Desk and have Modus give it the once over.
Miscellaneous: 9 You've put a lot of good work into this, and a lot of sincere effort. I think that this article has legs and with a little bit of work will take you to VFH.
Further ideas to it[edit | edit source]
- "Jesus-menu" at McDonalds section in : order to link those two sections.
- Recipe for crow-bar-pie
IPs and their owners[edit | edit source]
193.170.200.22 - Patrick
172.188.93.110 - BTVagrant
Super Mario Gaylaxy[edit | edit source]
The super brandnew "Super Mario Gaylaxy" is the follow-up game in the series, wherein an exciting twist in the allover storyline takes place. It is no longer the goal to rescue Princess Bitch from Bowsers fangs. Now, Mario is chasing Bowser, his new sexual partner in spe. Bowser, however, is straight - hence, he has always wanted to make out with Princess Bitch, but Mario always knew a way to prevent that! On his new course, Mario travels through space. The title of the game is composed of the word "gay" and a supposed reference on the drug known to cause relaxation of the anus muscle (yes, THAT drug!). Further changes in gameplay include the replacement of coins with cock rings to give Mario a much tighter ... score. During the final battle, Mario has to kick Bowser unconscious. Once achieved, the game abruptly ends (cut to credits) due to depiction of adult content, unsuitable for kids.