Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Democrazy
Democrazy[edit source]
Hi all -- well, my first article in nearly a year, and thanks for your encouragement. And, uh, I hope it was worth it. What do you think?
Procopius 18:37, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
Humour: | 9 | Highest joke-per-paragraph content of anything I've read recently. Welcome back. |
Concept: | 9 | Nice idea. Really nice idea. In fact, splendid. |
Prose and formatting: | 8 | Good writing. |
Images: | 8 | Appropriate pictures, some of them funny as well. |
Miscellaneous: | 8 | Good stuff. I only recommend some French polish. |
Final Score: | 42 | |
Reviewer: | ----OEJ 19:41, 3 May 2008 (UTC) |
Endnotes[edit source]
Well, Procopius, not too much to say about this. It is really quite long, but the joke density keeps one reading. I missed the French Revolution -- Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, Insanité, and Robespierre standing by the guillotine singing "Je suis a leetle choo-choo train, pouffe pouffe pouffe!" -- but such a section would add even more length to an already considerable article.
I might recommend the usual polishing. I see that this article has followed an eccentric creative path, written last year and extensively revised May 3, ie, today? I might suggest (tentatively) a week's rest followed by a final brush-up on a few jokes. You know very well how the cycle of creativity goes from heat-of-creation to cool-headed-revision and back to heat-of-creation again.
As is usually the case with my own pieces, the joke density is really high in the first section and falls off just a little in the later ones. Maybe this is just my perception, but you might have a look after the lastest flurry of revision has cooled and see what you think.
Anyway. Yes, it was worth it. Good work.
My best congratulations.
----OEJ 19:41, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, this thing could be way longer, and might just invite that when people start to see it. I appreciate the feedback, and I think you're right about the spread of the jokes. Good advice. I'll let the piece cool on the cookie rack for a little while. Thanks a lot!--Procopius 01:23, 4 May 2008 (UTC)