Portal:Games

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Sports Portal)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Games & Sports Portal
Go Eagles!

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)

Featured Article
Flag Coffin.jpg

Jingo! is a game of physical and mental skill, first played in Europe during the 17th, 18th and 19th Centuries, particularly popular in England, where it is said to have been invented, but that has recently become de rigueur amongst American culture, especially throughout the nation's many colonies worldwide.

Some, however, hold that it originated in the ancient Roman Empire, though they are largely alienated by the rest of the historian community owing to the common knowledge that Romans were peace-loving people, who never even killed their own emperors, let alone foreigners. The aim of the game of Jingo! is to place your blocks on top of those of your opponent, until the sheer weight of your imperial tower crushes their will, all in the interest of safeguarding your country's national interests and its political bumpersticker industry. (See more...)

Further Reading
Jesus-bball-socks.png
Gaming sub-categories

Featured articles

Featured Image
Thermopylae.jpg
Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE.
Image by Mhaille
Did You Know?
  • ... An ancient and dangerous sport from which modern day curling is derived, the Kitten hurling battle originated in the steamy jungles of what is now Quebec as a mating ritual of the Aztecs.
  • ... You finally realize that now you are living inside a real-life RPG. Grab those potions my friend and let's move through that field, shall we?
  • ... Crimes inspired by video games, although a featured article, is quite listcrufty, and you shouldn't bother reading it.
  • ... To cheat at Scrabble, you need to manufacture a fake dictionary, or a fake dictionary website.
  • ... A Grue (Gruesomicius ravenousi) is a box-shaped gap-toothed mammal known for eating humans, though more recently they have been known to kill certain lone wolves, construction workers, a gerbil or two, speranah, the occasional monkey, people who send annoying chain e-mails, your pets, and...well, Grues like eating a lot of things.
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Games&oldid=6511035"