Portal:Games
Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."
Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)
Ironing, derived as are modern business suits and certain poodle haircuts from the Victorian era, is an extreme sport which may yet burst with internal pressure onto the Olympic stage.
| “ | A long time ago, people needed their laundry to be crisp and wrinkle-free. Now, nobody cares. Appearance has been shouldered rudely aside by the sudden importance of image. I, for one, decry the rise of this ridiculous pastime and its corresponding conspiracy to ignore personal pride and common sense. | ” |
— Dr. Benjamin Spock, 1958
| ||
Simply, ironing is the unusual mechanical process of applying heat and pressure to an article of clothing or linen, with the purpose of making the said article smooth and therefore attractive. Imaginative places and ways of achieving this humble goal are, however, what has catapulted the sport to international acclaim.
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- ... Age of Umpires is a highly successful RPG/Strategy video game series by Microsoft and Unsemble Studios. In it, the player takes control of a team of Umpires with the primary aim of ruining cricket matches.
- ... Super Smash Bros.: Xtreme Beach Volleyball is a spinoff game to the popular Super Smash Bros. fighting game series. SSBX, unlike the rest of the series, is not a fighting game, but rather a "Sports Fantasy Simulation" game, a cross between a dating sim and a somewhat Pong-like volleyball simulator.
- ... The Drunk Olympics, a spinoff of The (not drunk) Olympics, is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point.
- ... Water Polo... With Sharks! is the hardest games to play, bar none. The sport is exactly the same as regular water polo, but with sharks.
- ... You finally realize that now you are living inside a real-life RPG. Grab those potions my friend and let's move through that field, shall we?
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