Portal:Games

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Sports Portal)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Games & Sports Portal
Go Eagles!

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)

Featured Article
Stacking.jpg

Cup Stacking is a fringe pseudo-sport championed by young white children all across the Midwestern United States (where real sports have been declared the Olympics of Satan and thus outlawed). The game is also known as Sport Stacking, deemed as such by its creators in order to "immediately identify it as a legitimate competitive sport." To further this effort, the word 'Sport' was again used to describe Cup Stacking in 2005; unfortunately for enthusiasts, it was preceded by the words 'World's Dumbest' in this instance.

Indeed, Cup Stacking is perhaps the most ridiculous activity ever to be entered into the realm of serious competition. Cup Stacking was founded by welterweight ski champion Bode Miller as part of his week-long Drunk Olympics celebration. During a mandatory drinking binge sometime between drunken figure skating and the drunken long jump, Miller thought it would be funny to stack emptied beer cups on top of one another. In fact at the time, he thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen (or at least the funniest thing he could remember seeing).

Further Reading
Jesus-bball-socks.png
Featured Image
Poker hand.jpg
An atypical poker hand, you may need to bring the screen right up to your face to notice.
Did You Know?
  • ... The Allahakbarries Cricket Club was a fundamentalist Muslim cricket team in Glasgow in the 1890s, whose stated aim was to "convert to Islam, or destroy as infidels, every amateur cricket team in the Strathclyde region."
  • ... A Grue (Gruesomicius ravenousi) is a box-shaped gap-toothed mammal known for eating humans, though more recently they have been known to kill certain lone wolves, construction workers, a gerbil or two, speranah, the occasional monkey, people who send annoying chain e-mails, your pets, and...well, Grues like eating a lot of things.
  • ... It is told in ages past that Dragon Worrier was a console role-playing game for the Nintendo Entertainment System.
  • ... Crimes inspired by video games, although a featured article, is quite listcrufty, and you shouldn't bother reading it.
  • ... Bloodbath is a popular sport played worldwide. It's the only sport which loses fans the more it gets popular.
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.