Rose (Doctor Who)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search


Rose (Doctor Who)
Roseep1.jpg
The Doctor is attacked by a deadly pack of cards in the dramatic pre-credits sequence.
Doctor Who episode 1.1
Airdate:
26 March 2005
Written By:
Russell T Davros
Directed By:
Chuck Norris
Starring:
Christoper Reeve
Billy Connolly
Episode Chronology
← Previous


The Dodgy 1996 Quiz Show with Eric Roberts

Next →


The End of the World

"Rose" is an episode of the British cult TV documentary Doctor Who, produced by the almighty BBC, and funded by the London Tourist Board. This story marked the debut of Christopher Reeve as the Ninth Doctor and Billy Connolly as his cheeky assistant, Nora. It is the first episode of the 2005 series and was the first new television episode of Doctor Who to be produced since the American-made quiz show with Eric Roberts.

Synopsis[edit | edit source]

The episode begins with the Doctor (Christopher Reeve) introducing himself to the audience. The audience applaud, then after a long interlude, the new series begins. Nora (Billy Connolly) is running down a stupidly long corridor, with scissors, trying to escape from an army of evil perfume stands. The audience try to tell Nora that this is wrong, but Nora screams at the audience, demanding that they shut up and let her/him live her/his life. The Doctor then appears, dashing and authoritative, grabbing the scissors off Nora. She then screams, farts, and gives birth, all in front of the audience. The audience again applaud, and after another long interlude the Nora delivers the first episode's moral message, in an uplifting speech that was praised by writer and show runner R.T.D.2.:

"Don't fuckin' run with scissors! Stupid bitch. Jesus, d'you not know how dangerous it can be?! Thats what your dad said last night when he was bumming your brother. It can be very, very dangerous! Nora, oh Nora, if I ever catch you running with scissors again, I'll stick 'em in your eyes! I will! I'll gouge yours eyes out, slag! Understood? Yeah? Fantastic!" (turning to the camera) "Don't run with scissors, kids. Or you'll die... Wait, what did this have to do with roses? Enh, I don't care. 'Till next time!"

Casting[edit | edit source]

Billy, in an early promotional image as Nora, with his now-famous "What is going on here?" expression.

After the disappointing response to the one-off 1996 quiz show, Doctor Who curled up into a darkened pit of despair and cried its eyes out until 2003, when Welsh superstar R.T.D.2. demanded that the good Doctor returned to inform, educate and run up and down corridors. The BBC were frightened of the knife that R.T.D.2. was waving at them, and so agreed to bring back the once great TV documentary. R.T.D.2. had plans to reinvent Doctor Who for a modern audience, and so modern topics would be included into the show such as gay rape, swine flu, Boris Johnson, and Welsh people. But who would play the Doctor? "It has to be someone good", said R.T.D.2. "someone who would just be good. Not great. Not brilliant. But a lot better than John Inman." Christopher Reeve at the time heard this comment by Russell, and although not a brilliant actor, he was good enough for the role, and was cast as the Ninth Doctor. As for the role of his assistant, Reeve was always a big fan of Billy Connolly, and so decided upon himself to cast Billy in the role of Nora. R.T.D.2. was not aware of this, and apparently went ape shit. And thus, the new era of Doctor Who was born.

Continuity[edit | edit source]

As far as continuity goes, R.T.D.2. decided to start afresh, not wanting the "baggage" of the past. Thus, everything was forgotten about. Except for Eric Roberts, who is canon.