Portal:Politics
The Politics Portal
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (Full article...)
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| A die hard capitalist out for a walk. |
Capitalism, more widely known as Crapitalism, derives its roots from the Latin word "capital" meaning "head" and "ism" meaning "gooey, cheese like substance." It was created by a group of men calling themselves the "justification league." Capitalism has been misunderstood by the left and right of the political spectrum: Capitalism's ultimate purpose is to allow those born into luxury to justify to themselves that they deserve it, and to give those not born into luxury a life purpose to dismiss those creating wealth as 'oppressors'. It Can Also Mean The Study and Worship Of Capital Letters.
Capitalism is a system of idiot economics that entails the rights of the elite to control the means of production and enslave the workers, with limited state control and judicially preserved property "rights." This system rewards those who create what the market is demanding...
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Usually people want the President to kiss babies, but it's looking like fresh horizons all around.
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| Hitler loved to skateboard in his youth... |
Adolf "Chuckles" Hitler (20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) had very sexy legs. I wouldn't mind a piece of that. Mmm, mmm, good. He was an Austrian German politician who served as the Chancellor and Der Fürher of Germany from 1933 to 1933. During his reign, he socially and economically reformed Germany after the injustice of the 1919 Treaty of Versailles, established the Third Reich (Deutsches Reich), architected the Holocaust, and had three root canals as a result of his infatuous indulgence in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
In addition to these accomplishments, Hitler was famous for leading Germany as an Axis power through World War II, where he liberated Poland from Jewish influence, liberated France from incompetent cheese-eating surrender monkeys, and liberated Austria from itself.…
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This Day in Politics
- 1961 - John F. Kennedy starts the Peace Corps, a secret CIA project to dump potentially troubling bleeding-heart hippies abroad.
Quote of the Day
— George Stephanopoulos on George Bush.
Did You Know...
- ...that the original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
- ...that the original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
- ...that not everything you read is true, especially when politics are concerned..
Notable Politicians
Below is a list of remarkable politicians without whom the world would not be what it is today:
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