PgDn

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FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION WARNING: YOU ARE IN BIG BIG TROUBLE. Simply viewing this web page is a Class I federal felony punishable by jail time and a hefty fine. Stop reading immediately and report to your nearest re-education center.

“Why are you saying we are a cult? That is absolute nonsense!”

~ I. Amadick when asked why no one was allowed to leave

“I love PgDn.”

~ Anonymous member held at gunpoint

Purgatory's Domain, mainly known by its abbreviation PgDn, was a ~~cult~~ organization which was about its members chosing to live in the wilderness, believing that aliens would eventually notice their self-reliance and recruit them into their society. Founded on San Jose, California in 1967 by mentally insane meth addict I. Amadick, by 1976, the organization had almost 3,100 members.^[1] Before all of its members left the country in 1979 to settle in an Arctic island, the Federal government immediately sent the FBI to investigate the base, which revealed many things about the organization.^[2] The FBI couldn't stop him in time, and the settlers disappeared around 1980.

Before all of its members were missing, due to the base being surrounded by portals which kill you for going near there, most members were not been able to escape. During his time on Earth, Amadick constantly denied these accusations, including the fact that despite being born, according to him, in 1865, in 1979, he still looked like an average hippie. In modern times, the organization has appealed to terrorists and religious cults, who are nostalgic of the past. Additionally, they successfully petitioned for all keyboards to have their abbreviation be included as a key. In 2008, Microsoft inherited the trademark for the cult,^[3] and is now using it in documentaries for clout.

A photo of guards patrolling the ~~cult~~ organization's base. This photo was likely taken before 1973 since a guard is using an umbrella as a weapon.

History[edit | edit source]

Background and formation[edit | edit source]

Since the 1920s, aliens have been abducting poor people or blood donors, primarily interested in using them as slaves to conduct a large-scale invasion of Earth sometime in 2012. One of these kidnappers was I. Amadick, who helped a fellow alien form his own cult of personality in the 1940s. After that, Amadick was seeking to form his own organization to kidnap more members. Seeking to try to pull members away from the Salvation Army, he co-headed the Beatnik movement until he left in the early 60s due to internal disagreements.

After that, Amadick wanted to head his own organization, so in 1965, he acquired some land in San Jose, using [REDACTED] to begin building his base. As he wanted to wanted to make the organization more accessible to people, he created a book on a popular pasttime of people at the time, using umbrellas even when it isn't raining. He officially created the cult^[4] in 1967, recruiting three people that year.

Legal troubles and rapid growth (1968–76)[edit | edit source]

Initially, Amadick forgot to actually pay for the property, causing the IRS to seize the base before his members could stay there. But after convincing a fellow alien, who was under the alias of Tommy Wiseau, to agree to pay the cult's taxes from his unknown source of wealth, the legal troubles had evaporated by 1970. This led to the cult's peak, where they were recruiting hundreds of members every month, includong current and future Hollywood celebrities Madonna, George Lucas, and Norman Lear. Additionally, as they were able to blackmail these actors and directors, pro-alien sentiment would be spread across America.

In 1972, under the guise of a break-in, a cult member, known to non-believers as Richard Nixon, hired robbers to break into the Watergate hotel to try to burn the place down as a stunt for their organization. As the hotel was made out of water, this obviously failed, and the robbers were caught soon after. As leaking the cult's true purpose was punishable by death, they created a lie which was about Nixon sending them to illegally tape the Democrats for juicy secrets to weaponize in the upcoming election. This made Nixon furious, and in late 1974, he resigned, making his only henchman, Gerald Ford, the president.

Gerald, who wasn't in the cult, would actively try to collaborate with the FBI to know what this cult was doing, and the next year, raided a high-ranking member's home and found classified documents. As they needed an excuse to stave off suspicion by the cult, they said that they found evidence proving Nixon had ordered the robbers. These documents revealed that the cult was evading their taxes, causing the IRS to launch a sting operation in 1976 in which they sent 600 soldiers to raid the base, which had hosted a record 3,100 people.

IRS operation and mass-abductions (1977–80)[edit | edit source]

In early February 1977, the IRS officially launched their sting operation, sending soldiers to be mixed in with people who wanted to join the cult. These members where allowed into the cult's base to be initiated in a random Sunday. When they were in the base, if they were thinking anything not related to the cult's purpose, their past few minutes of memories were wiped out. This caused them to not be able to even think for themselves, causing the 1977 operation to fail woefully. As a result, the FBI^[5] took over the responsibility of dismantling the cult.

In 1978, over 50 FBI agents broke into the base at night and looted most of the stuff inside it. This included letters to a recently-formed Swedish band telling them to join their cult or die, fuel to power the memory-eraser devices, and most importantly, letters by Amadick himself to his superiors telling them that he was ready to "abduct the humans to be used to improve the art of anal probing." Unfortunately, the FBI agents were not able to tell their superiors that since all but one^[6] mysteriously died in the same time.

The sole survivor attempted to explain the situation to her peers, but was constantly harassed for existing. This occured until she retired from the FBI a few days later and went to North Korea to apologize to her newlywed husband for neglecting him, while also giving him some nuclear codes. Sometime in 1979, Amadick announced that the cult would be moving to the Arctic, where they would connect with nature better by massacring all the native animals. They would travel on the USS Fabrik^[7] but would be abducted in early 1980, with Amadick and the cult's family and friends mysteriously disappearing as well.

Filmography[edit | edit source]

During the cult's existence, Amadick offered to pay film studios exorbitantly large amounts of money to create media to advertise the cult. This phase lasted from 1971 to 1974, which was when these companies were notified that they wouldn't be paid at all. Many of these films performed so badly, that theaters tried to sue Amadick in 1973. Sadly, Nixon^[8] was the president at the time, and personally rejected the lawsuit, stating that "only Commies would sue an all-American company."

The list of films made by the cult are:

PgDn will save your life (1971)
Human trafficking is the American thing to do (1971)
Amadick is a true American boy (1972)
PgDn is not a cult (1972)
Scientists are not to be trusted (1973)
- PgDn is the only thing that is trustworthy (1974)
PgDn: The Saga (1974)

Notes and references[edit | edit source]

↑ Including famous people like Henry Kissinger, Bob Marley, and Richard Nixon.
↑ This includes the fact that I. Amadyck was actually not a deranged psychopath but was an alien himself, and that all the members were all going to be abducted by his species.
↑ Microsoft patents 'Page Up' and 'Page Down', 29 August 2008, David Meyer, ZDNet, retrieved at 25 January 2017
↑ Wait, how is this working now?
↑ The people who were supposed to handle cases like this. After all, the taxmen may be able to make you pay your taxes, but they can't stop tax-evading aliens.
↑ The only survivor was Korean, and since the aliens interpreted Koreans as aliens, she wasn't perceived as a threat.
↑ Borrowed by a Navy officer who was in the cult.
↑ A senior cult member