Luxottica

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See less. Pay more.
Luxottica is proud to offer you all of the most overpriced eyewear offerings in the world, and we're the only people who make most of it! Get milked sucker!


For investor relations, see our corporate puppet shell company EssilorLuxottica

Our brands[edit | edit source]

We own or have exclusive licensing to all the following eyewear shit that you have to buy if you have vision problems:

  • Ray-Ban
  • Oakley
  • Chanel
  • Michael Kors
  • Versace
  • Coach
  • Persol
  • Chanel
  • Oliver Peoples
  • Costa Del Mar
  • LensCrafters
  • Sunglass Hut
  • EyeMed
  • Target Optical
  • Sears Optical
  • Pearle Vision
  • EyeBuyDirect
  • Foster Grant
  • Essilor
  • Varilux
  • Transitions™
  • Your eye doctor
  • Your eye doctor's spouse
  • Your eye doctor's kids (if they have any)
  • The factories that make all the above (and below) shit
  • Your own eyes

Our wonderful and totally not scandalous history[edit | edit source]

CENSORED BY THE ROTHSCHILD FAMILY WHICH PAID UNCYCLOPEDIA $99999999 TO HIDE ALL THIS SHIT

More shit[edit | edit source]

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This is a disambiguation page.
Of course, nobody cares.