Today's featured corpse
COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)
Yesterday's featured corpse
Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.
As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
 - ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
 - ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
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