Today's featured corpse
COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)
Yesterday's featured corpse
Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.
As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
 - ... that you should invest in chicken stock?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you should invest in chicken stock?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you should invest in chicken stock?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
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Latest murders
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Past murders...
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March 1: International Grue Day
- 1950 - Grues are first discovered living under couch cushions and inside tumble dryers.
- 1964 - Grue farmers release a whole colony of Grues into the wild, to hunt them for their silky and fragrant hide.
- 1972 - Louisiana Grue hunter and businessman Phil Robertson invents the Grue Call a whistle which imitates the dulcet mating call of the Grue.
- 1974 - While protesting the selling of Grue hide, one hippie is accidentally eaten by a Grue. It was a one time thing, they only do that when they're hungry.
- 1981 - The Grue population enters a rapid decline due to overhunting and a government campaign to vilify the grue.
- 1999 - The Grue Relations through Understanding and Empathy (GRUE) organization is formed to combat harmful memes about Grues and their supposed danger to society.
- 2001 - GRUE are all eaten by grues.
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| Pie of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,986 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Moccan!:
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