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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.

41,056 corpses revived

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Today's featured corpse

Clown alledgedly threatened by Bryce Von Deenis.

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

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Yesterday's featured corpse

Did you know...

... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?

... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?

... that my English teacher is gay? (Pictured)

... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?

... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?

... that my English teacher is gay? (Pictured)

... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?

... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?

... that my English teacher is gay? (Pictured)

... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?

... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?

Old pies – Suggest new pies

Latest murders
1977-2026 US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: ~~Uncyclopedia~~ • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek** (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again Murder News – Free Lunch at the Pie Hole
Past murders...
February 18: Penis Day (Tonga) 4000 BC - Men discover their hands reach down to their genitals, and there is peace for three thousand years before they get bored and start killing each other with pointy sticks. 1791 - American imperialists "liberate" the state of Vermont because of its vast maple syrup reserves. 1861 - Jefferson Davis is declared president of the Confederacy after saying the "hard R" N-word fifty times in only six seconds. 1885 - Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is published, its numerous grammatical errors are labelled by the publisher as a regional dialect. 1970 - The Chicago Seven are found guilty of being dirty commie hippies who might as well be guilty. 2010 - WikiLeaks publishes hundreds of thousands of classified documents revealing exactly where the U.S. keeps its nudes. View tomorrow – More murders...
Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

The Tomb of the Unknown Uncyclopedian.

Image credit: Mhaille
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,056 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including AAAAAAAAA!!:

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