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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.

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Today's featured corpse

Clown alledgedly threatened by Bryce Von Deenis.

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

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Did you know...

*... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?

... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?

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Latest murders
Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity Murder News – Free Lunch at the Pie Hole
Past murders...
June 5: Vampire Appreciation Day 1879 - Politics invented, price of shit skyrockets due to high demand. 1956 - Walt Disney is frozen and his head incinerated in a series of funny mishaps. 1973 - Henry Kissinger mistakenly orders the CIA to overthrow the government of Chile, Kissinger later says "oops" to media. 1989 - The people of Germany celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall, are later disappointed to learn the Capitalists won. 2001 - God sues Google over Google Earth due to breaching copyright. 2002 - Nosferatu flickers the lights at a local burger joint, to the relief of the workers therein. (Pictured) 2009 - Twilight movie is released, vampires protest at gross misrepresentation and are subsequently annihilated by the sunlight. View tomorrow – More murders...
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For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

The famous 1969 Life cover featuring The Apollo Program's culmination, the successful landing of Louis Armstrong on the Moon.

Image credit: Gerrycheevers
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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