Babel:OW
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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 41,136 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
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Oscar's Chosen Article Confession of sins is an integral part of the Catholic faith and practice. The meaning of the word confession, in a Catholic sense, is essentially the same as in the criminal. Confessional inquisitions operate in a similar way to the courts, during confession Believers are considered guilty, until proven exceptionally guilty. To save time penitents are encouraged to admit their 'vile lust of the flesh', 'drooling sin of the eyes', and 'limping pride of the phallus'. The penitent must admit these crimes so the priest may 'cure' them of their debauched animal desire with the bitter medicine of guilt. For these reasons confession of one's sins, or at least of one's sinfulness, is seen by many churches as a prerequisite for becoming a Christian. During confession, aggressive interview techniques are used by priests to extract the vile secrets the penitent is so desperate to hide. Lying only makes it worse, multiplying tenfold the number of sins committed. Afterwards, this information remains confidential. Only the penitent, the priest, and interested telemarketing companies need ever know what’s said. With a decline in church collections, many churches have taken to selling their congregation's details to telemarketing firms so they can tailor the products offered to suit the penitent's disgusting 'needs'. With the sinner's depraved wants satisfied, the Vatican usually receives a royalty fee for each sale in order to cover expenses. (Full article...) You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? January 17: Kick Pigeons in the Face Day
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The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
 Downing Street denies this image.
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Non-playoff NFL teams firing their coaches • Jim and John Harbaugh family vacation in Cancun Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • New York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys • Green Bay Packers', Carolina Panthers', Jacksonville Jaguars', Los Angeles Chargers', Philadelphia Eagles', and Pittsburgh Steelers' seasons • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
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Recent witticisms
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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