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The Frankly Disappointing Telescope can be found in the South East region of the United Kingdom. Its creator, Trevor McClaverty (a.k.a. Flaky Trevor), was inspired by both the Overwhemingly Large Telescope and the Very Large Telescope. Unfortunately, McClaverty did not have the tools, scientific know-how, or monetary capability to create such an impressive instrument. Hence the Frankly Disappointing Telescope.

As the photo shows, the telescope was constructed using a single empty toilet roll tube. Any household has the raw material necessary for in-home production of the telescope, but Trevor had the innovative idea before others could jump on the boat and sail it away. He also has played with the idea of sticking multiple tubes together, however he found that this technology did not increase the power of the telescope. In fact, the more tubes that were used, the more difficult it became to see out the other end, and, due to substandard sticky-tape, the telescope had a tendency to droop as its size increased. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?

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In the news [edit]

Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured)
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)

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On this day [edit]

April 28: Amateur Internet Porn Day

3500 BC - Moses descends from Mt. Sinai amid thunderclaps and bush conflagrations with a number of commandments.
204 - Early Christians invent the concept of shame to curbe the spread of wild Levantine sex orgies.
1861 - Oscar Wilde first merits mention in his local newspaper for his treatise on the manufacturing of Bon-bons.
1920 - The Soviet Union acquires free agent Azerbaijan, US responds weakly by drafting Alaska 39 years later.
1988 - Dr. Bill Cosby announces discovery of vaccine for Jell-O Fever, the vaccine being a night out on town and maybe some dinner? (Pictured)
1991 - First recorded case of a man pretending to be woman on IRC for free pizza, thin crust with anchovies and olives.
2015 - "Jell-O Fever" discovered to be a noxious cocktail of several different STDs and rape drug side-effects.

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