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Y is TEXAN, Y'ALL!!!!!. Loves to play the drums, and usually hang out with musicians. This user is a purple-spleened administrator and messing with him/her could result in a ban. Knight Commander of the Order gobshite noob UOTM. ROTFL. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that I hear voices outside my room? (Pictured)

... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?

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In the news [edit]

D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured)
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)

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On this day [edit]

May 7: International Daintiness Day

1274 - In France the Second Council of Lion ends in a bloodbath. Final Score: Councillors 2, Lions 37.
1776 - Pollsters in the American colonies find "zero interest" in freedom and democracy, find most content with ruthless monarchy and doughnuts.
1824 - Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony debuts in Austria, performed by a mute ensemble, to a deaf audience, and orchestrated by a conductor with no arms.
1920 - The Treaty of Moscow is signed, in which Soviet Russia agrees not to invade the nation of Georgia. It is broken six months later, when Soviet forces capture Atlanta.
1961 - Feminine ultra-spy Mrs. J is sent to Cairo, Egypt by the higher-ups at MI-5.
1967 - Pope Paul VI designs the miniskirt for Swiss Guard's summer uniforms. Fabulous!
1968 - In America, Summer of Love forecast with a 50% chance for civil unrest.

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Picture of the day

The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

Image credit: Savethemooses
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,662 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.