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From today's featured article 

Samueljacksonbabysun.jpg

[The Teletubbies are eating their custard breakfast]

LAA-LAA: How many pounds of custard are we talkin' here?

DIPSY: We're talking, like... at least 500 pounds of custard in that vault.

TINKY WINKY: No shit? That's a whole lot of fuckin' custard. That would do wonders for our business, man.

PO: You guys remember that motherfucker, Noo-Noo? Little vacuum thing? Baby Sun told me he's already got information regarding the joint.

TINKY WINKY: Noo-Noo? We worked with him once and I nearly fuckin' died cause of it, remember? His goddamn battery started overheating and he almost exploded! How can we be sure he's reliable for a job as big as this?

(Full article...)

Did you know... 

Sumoworkout.JPG
  • ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
  • ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
  • ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
  • ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
  • ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?

In the news 

On this day 

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April 27: When Pigs Fly Day (Chile)

  • 1368 - The Big Bad Wolf is found guilty of vandalism and mouth robbery, and is sentenced to 30 hours of social work.
  • 1509 - Pope Julius II places the Italian state of Venice under interdict. The interdict arose from finding the state warm and moist.
  • 1520 - Magellan arrives in the Philippines. The locals invite him in for some dinner.
  • 1555 - You are born, but die of cholera by age eight. You don't remember this previous life because you were born a moron.
  • 1945 - USA and USSR meet for the first time in Germany, starting a love affair to last several decades.
  • 1949 - Texas becomes the first US State to outlaw Cheese, following the discovery of a Soviet covert cheddar ring operating in Houston.
  • 1966 - NASA scientists propose using Dusty Springfield's 11-mile tall bouffant to get to the moon.
  • 2011 - Pigs are observed actually flying in the Southern United States.

Picture of the day

iWin
Even the power of an iPod is no match for the common gun.

Image credit: Llama-Llover
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